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From: bobr@zeus.UUCP (Robert Reed)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: genie in a bottle
Message-ID: <508@zeus.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 17-Apr-85 16:05:22 EST
Article-I.D.: zeus.508
Posted: Wed Apr 17 16:05:22 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 19-Apr-85 01:21:32 EST
Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR
Lines: 48

This guy is trying out a new golf course, some distance from his home.
Unfortunately, he's caught himself in a sand trap and is now trying to chip
his ball onto the green, without much success.  On one swing he strikes
something metallic in the sand, and digging it up, he finds an ancient
looking bottle with a cork stopper.  He tugs on the stopper and out comes a
cloud which materializes into a ten foot genie, who says, "I am empowered to
grant you three wishes.  The only restriction I place is that they cannot be
for material goods."

Standing in amazement, the golfer can't believe his eyes, but remaining
somewhat skeptical, he suggests,   "Well, my golf game could stand some
improvement."

"Easily done," says the genie.  "What other two wishes would you like?"

"Well," he says, somewhat slyly, "My sex life has never been very good."

"That will soon change," replied the genie.  "What is your last desire?"

The golfer blurts out, "A new car!"

"I'm sorry," says the genie, "But that's a material item, which I am not
empowered to give.  Your wish cannot be granted, nor can it be replaced."
And with that, the genie vaporizes into the bottle, sealing itself with the
cork, and the bottle disappears in a flurry of sand back into the sand trap.

Several months go by, and our golfer finds himself back at this same sand
trap.  On a lark, he tries digging for the bottle, and much to his surprise,
he finds it in much the same place he had last seen it.  Pulling the cork,
the bottle once again spews forth the genie. 

"I remember you," says the genie.  "I cannot grant you any more wishes, but
I am curious how successful the old ones were.  How's your golf game?"

"Couldn't be better!  I can usually par a course now, and every once and a
while I even get a birdie!"

"That's great!  Now, what about your sex life?"

"My sex life I cannot believe!  I've never seen so many beautiful women!  I
get laid regularly now, ohhhh, at least once or twice a month!

"Once or twice a month?" says the genie.  "That doesn't sound very often to
me."

"Well, yeah, but for a priest without a car, I think I'm doing terrific!"
-- 
Robert Reed, CAE Systems Division, tektronix!teklds!bobr