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From: slana@crystal.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Re: more 'are these guys for real???'
Message-ID: <446@crystal.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 23-Apr-85 00:46:29 EST
Article-I.D.: crystal.446
Posted: Tue Apr 23 00:46:29 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 24-Apr-85 07:03:55 EST
References: <346@unm-cvax.UUCP> <68@harvard.ARPA>
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Organization: U of Wisconsin CS Dept
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***** 

My memory fails on specifics, but over the past few years, I've read newspaper
accounts of some pretty bumbling theives.

	- Several years back (I think it might have been in Portland), some
	  guy robbed a bank.  It didn't take long for the police
	  to catch him however -- he wrote the holdup note on the back of a
	  deposit slip bearing his own name and address.

	- A man in New York City proved that you need to dress the part for 
	  people to take you seriously.  He entered a bank on a hot summer
	  day and announced a holdup.  The poor guy apparently couldn't afford
	  a mask (or nylon stockings?), however, and improvised a disguise.
	  He was wearing an ordinary white T-shirt, with the collar pulled
	  up over his head to cover his face.  Apparently, the crowd in the
	  bank started laughing at his pitiful attempt and the tellers were
	  even laughing as the man must have become embarrased and left the
	  bank without any money.  I believe he was never caught.
							 
	- Finally, there was the guy in Indianapolis who came up with another
	  makeshift disguise -- shaving cream on his face.  He was caught and
	  in an interview, he stressed how desperate he was and that he had
	  never tried to rob a bank before.  Somehow, I think I believe him.


	As I said, my memory seems to have dropped a few bits since I've read
	these, so don't sue me - but they were in reputable papers (i.e. no
	front page stories about martians who invade Cleveland, marry Liz
	Taylor, and lose 40 pounds in two weeks).

	Added bonus (punishment?) - my favorite ambiguous advertising slogan:
	  The beer commercials on TV that end with "It doesn't get any better
	  than this!"
	       -- darn, maybe if they try a little bit harder.....