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From: uggworek@sunybcs.UUCP (Donald Gworek)
Newsgroups: net.misc,net.jokes
Subject: Restaurant Characters In Terror
Message-ID: <1480@sunybcs.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 12-Apr-85 10:19:17 EST
Article-I.D.: sunybcs.1480
Posted: Fri Apr 12 10:19:17 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 15-Apr-85 03:38:09 EST
Distribution: net
Organization: SUNY/Buffalo Computer Science
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Xref: linus net.misc:6334 net.jokes:9486


The vote over to SAVE or RETIRE "Big Boy" (as in the mascot of the Shoney's/
Bob's/Kip's/TJ's/Elby's Big Boy Restaurants) brought back memories of this
article I saw awhile back (reprinted without permission from the 'Orlando 
Sentinel'):

  _____________________________________________________________________
  |                                                                   |
  |               "Statue Kidnappers Ask For McRansom"                |
  |                ==================================                 |
  |                                                                   |
  | KISSIMMEE (April 26, 1983) -- An organization calling itself  the |
  | NPLO  (No  Pickles  Lettuce Onions) is claiming responsiblity for |
  | kidnapping Officer Mac, an $800 fiberglass statue stolen  from  a |
  | McDonald's restaurant.                                            |
  |   If the ransom demands are not met, "we will force Officer  Mac  |
  | to  work  as  a  short-order cook at Burger King," according to a |
  | handwritten note delivered Monday to The Orlando Sentinel  bureau |
  | by an unidentifed blond teen-ager.                                |
  |   The ransom note was accompanied by a  picture  of  Officer  Mac |
  | blindfolded.   The  NPLO  is  demanding  40 billion Big Macs, 40  |
  | billion-plus-one french fries ("Officer Mac is hungry") and  pub- |
  | lic  recognition of the NPLO by Allen Rooks, assistant manager of |
  | the restaurant.                                                   |
  |   If the 40 billion Big Macs contained "a pigion (sic)  of  pick- |
  | les, a leaf of lettuce or an ounce of onions, Officer Mac will be |
  | flame broiled."                                                   |
  |   McDonald's officials reported Officer Mac's kidnapping April 20 |
  | from  the restaurant at 719 W. Vine St.  The statue was bolted to |
  | the ground.                                                       |
  |   A McDonald's spokesman said the ransom demand "obviously  could |
  | not  be  met" but pleaded with the kidnappers not to harm Officer |
  | Mac.                                                              |
  |   "Please don't kill him.  Please bring him back.  We love  him," |
  | said Steve Leroy from McDonald's headquarters in Oak Brook, Ill.  |
  |   Leroy added that the company may be willing to  negotiate  with |
  | the  NPLO  and  not  press  criminal  charges  if  Officer Mac is |
  | released.                                                         |
  |   About a year ago a Ronald McDonald statue was kidnapped from  a |
  | McDonald's  restaurant  in  Pittsburgh, Leroy said.  The culprits |
  | threatened to melt him down into ashtrays and give them  to  com- |
  | peting  restaurants,  if ransom demands were not met.  Ronald was |
  | returned after police saw him riding in the back of a car  driven |
  | by the kidnappers.                                                |
  |   Kissimmee police requested a copy of the ransom  note  but were |
  | having  a  hard  time  researching  the  case.  "My secretary was |
  | laughing so hard, she couldn't give me the report,"  said  Detec- |
  | tive Doug Parsons.                                                |
  ---------------------------------------------------------------------

About a week later, Officer Mac was found *wandering around* someone's
backyard, and was back at his post (watching the drive-thru menu), 
by the end of the day.


If Big Boy is fired by Shoney's/Bob's/et al what will he do for a living??? 
Will he be able to work at a competing restaurant???  Or will he have to 
become a bartendar???  I can just see him moving to San Francisco, getting
a job at a *one of those* bars, and slaving to the sounds of Bronski Beat
in full leather regalia.

-- Don Gworek    oo
                  \
                 \/

  "You're the one they talk about 'round town.  Run away,
   Smalltown Boy, run away.  Shoney's will never understand."