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From: schuster@Shasta.ARPA
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: Re: Role models for gay relationships
Message-ID: <4732@Shasta.ARPA>
Date: Fri, 19-Apr-85 21:05:39 EST
Article-I.D.: Shasta.4732
Posted: Fri Apr 19 21:05:39 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 25-Apr-85 08:16:20 EST
References: <561@ptsfa.UUCP>
Distribution: net
Organization: Stanford University
Lines: 37

> 
> I wonder what role was played by role models for the other gay and lesbian
> subscribers to net.motss: Do you desire creating a home with a significant
> other? Have you done so and how? Are you aware of the role of any role models
> in your vision of your existent or desired home?
> Rob Bernardo, Pacific Bell, San Francisco, California

Well, I'll put in a plug for how important role models are.  They are
more important than practically anything else towards achieving some
measure of self esteem, especially when you are young.

I came out when I was about 14/15.  Not until I was 17 did I actually
meet anyone I could call a role model.  I can not say how much good he
did for me.  This was not any sort of love/sexual relationship, we were
just good buddies who went out and did things together.  He was a
friend of my mother's (yes I had parental support) and she encouraged
the friendship.  I went from completely introverted and pretty down on
where I fit in to realizing that I wasn't alone and that other people
(I met through him) were leading perfectly decent lives, and some of
them were in their 50s and 60s.

When I compare how he affected my life to friends of mine who went
through years of hell because there was no one they knew who led
anything remotely resembling a life, I feel very, very lucky.

There is a goal in my eyes behind visibility -- think of every teenage
girl and boy who are thinking they are the only soul in the universe.
All they need to feel comfortable with themselves is to see that other
people have dealt with similar problems and overcome them. (yeah - so
I'm an incurable romantic)

As for answering some of the questions asked by Rob -- I'm still
dealing with ideas of how I'd like to settle down.  I also think his
questions were aimed towards an older nonstudent audience, so I'll butt
out.

-- Jay Schuster schuster@su-pescadero.arpa ...!decvax!decwrl!shasta!schuster