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From: chris@pyuxc.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Attribution Theory and Why People Date Jerks
Message-ID: <631@pyuxc.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 9-Apr-85 09:08:09 EST
Article-I.D.: pyuxc.631
Posted: Tue Apr  9 09:08:09 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 14-Apr-85 13:37:13 EST
Organization: Bell Communications Research, Piscataway, NJ
Lines: 53

Several times over the past couple of years (when our computers here allowed
us to subscribe to the net), there was often the recurring discussion of why
motos tend to date "JERKS."  Well, while teaching an adult ed. course in
psychology I came across one interesting potential explanation called:
"Attribution Theory."

Attribution theory (AT) basically says, that given certain physiological
symptoms or reactions, an individual will attribute them to the most
important emotion they are contemplating at that time.

For example:  the person you are trying to have a relationship with generally
treats you terribly (e.g. stands you up, doesn't return calls, treats you
poorly in public, etc.).  You finish a rather upsetting date coming home
again angry, frustrated, and embarrassed.  AT states that because you will be
having certain internal reponses such as increased respiration, heart rate,
perspiration, muscle tension, you will attribute these combined FEELINGS to
the situation that caused it (which in this case, represents the ill-fated
relationship).  Since the the primary EMOTION you want out of the 
relationship is love, you ATTRIBUTE these internal signals not to anger,
frustration and embarrassment, but to LOVE for the individual and situation
that caused this level of arousal/stimulation!

Therefore, people who repeatedly choose JERKS to date, tend to misinterpret
the hassles (and subsequent internal "arousal") as "real love for this person."
In my opinion, these people are either poor judges of others' character,
addicted to the internal states of arousal they experience from putting up
with the garbage others throw on them, or they are incapable of identifying
and isolating the true emotions that they are experiencing (e.g. anger,
frustration, etc.), or all of the above.

This explanation doesn't solve the problem, but merely attempts to explain
why the problem exists.

If anyone wants to comment on this article, please send me mail:
(ihnp4!abnjh!lute) since our computer is no longer on the net.  I look forward
to your replies.


					Jim Collymore

p.s.  On the positive side of AT, you can use it to your advantage.  AT would
predict that if you take someone on a really scary rollercoaster ride, and
then propose to them as soon as you get off (while their heart is pounding,
and they are still breathless), they will think "Wow, the way I feel right
now I must really love you, too!"  And they'll probably accept.
Please note that this aspect of AT is tounge-in-cheek.

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