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From: gvg@hp-pcd.UUCP (gvg)
Newsgroups: net.suicide
Subject: Re: Thoughts on why this group isn't bri
Message-ID: <101700003@hp-pcd.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 7-Apr-85 10:47:00 EST
Article-I.D.: hp-pcd.101700003
Posted: Sun Apr  7 10:47:00 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 18-Apr-85 08:14:24 EST
References: <1457@sunybcs.UUCP>
Organization: Hewlett-Packard - Corvallis, OR
Lines: 36
Nf-ID: #R:sunybcs:-145700:hp-pcd:101700003:000:1552
Nf-From: hp-pcd!gvg    Apr 15 07:47:00 1985

> Nothing against sympathy, but TOO much is damaging.  In fact, it can be
> suffocating.  

It took me along time to realize it, but I have found that "sympathy" can
be a most curious form of aggression.

I think it is instinctive for people to seek the `upper hand' over others;
some are worse about this than others, of course.  (It becomes very
understandable when you consider how unpleasant it is NOT to have the
upper hand!)

And who can you feel more superior to than someone who needs sympathy?

The really NASTY thing about some of the strange situations I have
found myself in is that people who have encouraged me to express my
feelings sometimes end up using my words against me again.  And what
is particularly startling about all of this is that there is no conscious
malice involved ... simply an inability to think things through or see
clearly what they are doing.  And they act totally surprised when they
find that I want nothing to do with them.

I keep notes on 3x5 cards on thoughts I have.  Some of the more relavant:

"People are very perceptive of your weaknesses.  They may not necessarily
exploit them, but they will form value judgements on them."

"A crutch cripples you if you can walk without it ..."

... and, in the end, you might find you never needed it in the first
place.

Forgive my lecturing ... if it seems pompous or patronizing, let me know...

                                   Regards - GV Goebel
                                   hplabs!hp-pcd!gvg
                                   Monday, 15 April 1985