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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!lanl!unmvax!unm-cvax!josh
From: josh@unm-cvax.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.suicide
Subject: I need some help with a friend...
Message-ID: <337@unm-cvax.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 13-Apr-85 00:59:25 EST
Article-I.D.: unm-cvax.337
Posted: Sat Apr 13 00:59:25 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 18-Apr-85 08:28:14 EST
Distribution: net
Organization: University Of New Mexico Computing Center, Albuquerque, NM
Lines: 54

The below conversation is real as best as I can remember it.  She
	and I have become good friends and two months ago she
	discovered she had cancer and if luck and went bad she
	had at most 6 months to live.
	
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Her : I just stood there...  She put a gun to her head and blew her brains
      out.  I didn't know what to do... If she didn't kill herself then,
      maybe later.  We had always been good friends.  She called me up
      and invited me to watch her kill herself. I wish I had known she
      was going to kill herself ... I wouldn't have come.

Me  : Would you stop her now?  Would you wait?

Her : No! well.. Yes..  I don't know. Karl can't believe I just stood
      and watched her die.

Me  : Have you ever tried to kill yourself?

Her : Once... Well, everybody has ... once.  In my freshman year in high school.

Me  : How did you try?

Her : A gun.

Me  : Why did you stop?

Her : I did not want to die a messy death. I tried pills but I puked them up.

Me  : Are you glad you didn't kill yourself?

Her : No.

Me  : Why are you trying to kill yourself now?  Your getting drunk every
      night and you take pain killers that your doctor says you should not.

Her : I don't care if I die.  I have been fighting for 2 months now and
      I don't care if I die.  I will just let the doctors have me
      for weekends but during the week I am going to have fun for my
      last few days.

Me  : Well... I care.  I don't want to see a friend die without fighting.

Her : I left you my car....
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What do I do?  Thanks her for the car? :-)

Send me mail . . . I   L O V E  mail

          Josh Siegel

 {convex,ucbvax,gatech,csu-cs,anl-mcs,lanl-a}!unmvax!unm-cvax!josh