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From: greg@olivee.UUCP (Greg Paley)
Newsgroups: net.flame,net.tv
Subject: Re: Dept. of Misc. Petty Grievances
Message-ID: <315@olivee.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 8-Apr-85 18:53:44 EST
Article-I.D.: olivee.315
Posted: Mon Apr  8 18:53:44 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 13-Apr-85 03:54:15 EST
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Xref: watmath net.flame:9212 net.tv:2776

> Just watching tonight's Oscar awards, and the unavoidable commercials,
> and decided to open up a column I've wanted to do for a very long
> time: The Dept. of Misc. Petty Grievances.  
> 

I'll add a few of mine.

* The woman who's heard giggling on a number of tv and radio
  commericals, particularly those for Beringer wines.

* Cigarette commercials that try to tie their product in with
  outdoor sports and good health.  Notice how often there is a
  tennis racket, set of golf clubs, or such behind the models.

* The Calvin Klein "Obsession" commercials.  I think they're sick.

* Anchor people who consistently stumble over the first line of
  the "hot" story breaking.  Queen of these in the S.F. Bay Area:
  Wendy Tokuda.

* Ads for the "Enquirer" and "People" that make us look like
  all we have to do when we're not eating hamburgers and drinking
  beer is have vicarious experiences reading about other people's
  private lives.

	 - Greg Paley
> - Advertisers reducing the ideals of America to sporting nature,
> drunken good fellowship, and the beers we drink.
> 
> - Polls which, having determined a majority view (though it may be by
> .001%), are announced under the banner "WE are [jogging more, not
> getting enough carbohysrates, feeling better about ourselves,
> hopelessly confused]."  Even worse is when 'WE' is replaced with
> 'YOU'. I want to rip open the U.S.A. Today trendy paper dispenser,
> stick my head in and yell, "Speak for yourselves, dirtbags!"
> 
> - Those little female twits who populate Burger King commercials, and
> are constantly passing out bubbling superiority like religious pamphlets
> outside of a Scientologist headquarters.  I'm no McDonald's fan, but
> I'd enjoy seeing whether these munchkins stand up better to flash
> frying or flame-broiling.
> 
> ----
> 
> Oh, a better line for Prince's acceptance speech for the best
> songwriter, or whatever:  "I'd like... to thank my... mother... and my
> sister... and most of all... the pharmacist who I visited before the
> show tonight."
> 
> And Sally Field (for SCTV afficionados): "I want to bear ALL YOUR
> CHILDREN!  HAAA...."
> 
>     "I'm going to have you wrapped in a U.S. flag and burned personally by the
>      President, in high octane American gasoline!"
> 
> 					Moriarty, aka Jeff Meyer
> 					John Fluke Mfg. Co., Inc.
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