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Path: utzoo!linus!rjd
From: rjd@linus.UUCP (Robert DeBenedictis)
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: Re: Role models for gay relationships
Message-ID: <333@linus.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 24-Apr-85 09:20:30 EST
Article-I.D.: linus.333
Posted: Wed Apr 24 09:20:30 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 26-Apr-85 06:02:07 EST
References: <561@ptsfa.UUCP> <4732@Shasta.ARPA>
Distribution: net
Organization: The MITRE Coporation, Bedford, MA
Lines: 46
Keywords: coming out, gay, college

O---O  Jay Schuster (Shasta!schuster), 20 Apr 85:
O
O   Well, I'll put in a plug for how important role models are.  They
O   are more important than practically anything else towards achieving
O   some measure of self esteem, especially when you are young.
O
O   There is a goal in my eyes behind visibility -- think of every
O   teenage girl and boy who are thinking they are the only soul in
O   the universe.  All they need to feel comfortable with themselves
O   is to see that other people have dealt with similar problems and
O   overcome them. (yeah - so I'm an incurable romantic)
O
O---O

All you gays in college, come out.

Last year I was a Senior in college.  Sometime in late April, a Sophmore
woman came up to me near the mailboxes outside the dining hall.  She looked
familiar; my Residential College (i.e., dorm) housed about 300 people.  She
said she wanted to thank me for being out.  It was a very awkard moment for
both of us.  She didn't really know what to say, I didn't really know how to
react.  I think I just sort of acted nonchalant, just saying thank-you.  The
exchange only lasted a minute or two.  I can't even remember who the woman is.
But as time went by I remembered/realized that way back (2-3 years earlier)
when I first began to come out one of my big internal arguements was this:
    I will come out because if more people would come gays would
    be less oppressed.  Also, someone out there doesn't know that
    coming out is really possible.  Also, it's too hard to casually
    meet real (gay) people in the closet.
Well, gays haven't made great political strides in the past 3 or 4 years
because of me.  And, I still haven't met the boy next door.  But, I have
helped one person feel a little more at ease.

Which is not to say that coming out is martyrdom.  Once I did come out, I
realized that those initial three reasons paled in comparison to not having
to hide from my friends.  Big Secrets don't make for good relationships
with other people.  And Constant Little Lies give you a bad view of the
world.  These reasons though were far too abstract to motivate me to come out.

So, if you're in college, and you're reading this NOW, seriously think
about coming out.  I can't tell you that it's a Bed of Roses, it's not.
But, for me, it was well worth the trip.

Robert Debenedictis