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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!harvard!think!mit-eddie!genrad!decvax!ittvax!bunkerb!pop
From: pop@bunkerb.UUCP (Paul Pederson)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Of interest to hard core HACKERSSubject: Of interest to hard core HACKERS
Message-ID: <475@bunkerb.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 29-Apr-85 15:51:53 EDT
Article-I.D.: bunkerb.475
Posted: Mon Apr 29 15:51:53 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 1-May-85 06:50:44 EDT
References: none
Distribution: net
Organization: Bunker Ramo, Trumbull Ct
Lines: 234
Keywords: Puns abound

Gur sbyybjvat fgbel znl or bs vagrerfg gb gubfr bs hf jub ner snzvyvne
jvgu gur tnzr UNPX naq vgf bevtvaf.  V ncbyyb-tvfr nurnq bs gvzr sbe gur
greevoyr chaf naq n srj zvf-fcryyvatf.  Urer vg vf, cerfragrq sbe lbhe
ragregnvazrag:


	GUR PNFR BS GUR ZVFFVAT UNPX FBHEPR


Gur gvzr jnf 483625902.  Gur cynpr jnf OPH (Havirefvgl Pnyvsbeavn -
Onpxjneqf).  Rq naq V unf whfg svavfurq fbegvat guebhtu bhe $UBZR
qverpgbel jura fhqqrayl fur ragrerq gur ebbz  -- n gnyy qnex oybaq
pneelvat n cbegnoyr HAVK flfgrz.

	"V'ir ybfg vg." fur oyhegrq bhg.  V fhcerffrq n ynhtu nf V abgvprq
gung Rq'f ggl'f jrer fhqqrayl orpbzvat ranoyrq.

	"Onol", V fnvq, "Jr'ir nyy ybfg vg, bgurejvfr jr jbhyqa'g or urer."

	Fur pnfg n pelcgvp tynapr ng Rq, gura ghearq ure nggragvba gb zr
nf fur fnvq, "Bu ab.  V zrna V'ir ybfg VG.  Zl bayl fbhepr gb UNPX1.0.2, 
cneg 10."

	Jung n pehry naq ivpvbhf guvat gb unir unccrarq gb n ynql.  Bs nyy gur 
cnegf sbe n ynql gb ybfr -- cneg 10 jnf gur jbefg.  "Lbh'ir tbg gb or avpr 
naq uryc zr svaq vg orsber vg'f gbb yngr."

	Fur ybbxrq rkunhfgrq.  Nccneragyl, fur zhfg unir orra hc nyy avtug,
gelvat gb svaq gur ybpngvba bs ure ybfg fbhepr.  Fur fng qbja urnivyl ba
zl fbsn.  Orsber V pbhyq nfx nal dhrfgvbaf, fur unq snyyra vagb n qrrc 
fyrrc(28800).

	Rq enzoyrq bire gb gur fbsn.  Jura ur fnj ubj rkunhfgrq fur jnf,
uvf gglf fybjyl orpnzr qvfnoyrq.

	Gur bayl pyhr jr pbhyq jbex ba jnf gur flfgrz fur oebhtug vagb gur
ebbz jvgu ure.  Jr ghearq vg ba naq cebprrqrq gb frnepu guebhtu gur pelcgvp
zrffntrf fur unq yrsg ba vg.  Svanyyl, jr sbhaq jung jr jrer ybbxvat sbe --
UNPX cnegf 1 guebhtu 9.

	Va bar bs gur cnegf jnf n zrffntr juvpu unq ERNQ_ZR jevggra nyy bire
vg.  Fb jr qvq.

	Rq naq V jrer abg cercnerq sbe jung jr unq sbhaq.  Ernqvat gur 
zrffntr, jr ernyvmrq jr unq hapbirerq n cybg bs vagreangvbany cercbegvbaf.
Fur zhfg unir orra na ntrag bs rfcvbantr, sbe arneyl nyy bs ure zrffntrf
bevtvangrq sebz Nzfgreqnz.

	V ortna gb gerzoyr.  V pbhyqa'g gryy vs vg jnf sebz srne be 
rkpvgrzrag.  V ybbxrq bire ng Rq.  Uvf nccrnenapr unq gnxra ba n jubyr arj
sbezng.  Vg jnfa'g cerggl...


	...V sbhaq zlfrys ng n fznyy one (|) ba gur bhgfxvegf bs OPH.  Nyy
gur UNPXvrf naq becunarq erfcbafrf jrer xabja gb unat bhg gurer.  V ubcrq
gb trggl zber vasbezngvba ba jung jnf va gur zvffvat fbhepr.

	Va gur pbeare, qevaxvat n phc bs grr, jnf na byq fnygl cebprff jubz V
erpbtavmrq sebz gur jnagrq cbfgref va gur znvy qverpgbel -- Xncgnva Xreary.
Fvggvat npebff gur gnoyr sebz uvz jnf abar bgure guna gur abgbevbhf QE INK.

	V nccebnpurq jvgu pnhgvba, lrg rira nf V nccebnpurq, V abgvprq
QE INK'f synzr jnf nyernql ba uvtu.  Nf V fgrccrq gb gur gnoyr, ur guerj
n gne ng zr juvpu arneyl jnyyrq zr.  V uvg uvz onpx jvgu dhbgrf sebz gur
pbclevtug ynj.  Whfg nf ur jnf nobhg gb ghea ba zr ntnva, frireny bs gur 
bgure cngebaf abzvangrq uvz sbe njneqf bs inevbhf glcrf.  Ur xarj ur unq
orra qrygn'q.  Ur yrsg gur ebbz jvgu n abgr bs ncbybtl.

	"Znl V wbva lbh?" V qverpgrq ng Xncgnva Xreary.  "Iv abg," ur
erfcbaqrq.  "V unir cyragl bs pnyyf gb nammre, ohg V znl nf iryy gnxr pner
bs lbh svefg.  Ohg zvaq lbh, hayrmm lbh unir n uvtu cevbevgl, V ivyy abg
gnyx gb lbh ybatx."

	"Jung qb lbh xabj bs cneg 10?" V nfxrq.  V xarj V unq nfxrq gur
jebat dhrfgvba jura ur erfcbaqrq "Frtzragngvba ivbyngvba -- pber qhzcrq".

	Ernyvmvat guvf one (|) jbhyq or bs ab hfr, V vzzrqvngryl erghearq
$UBZR....


	....V erghearq $UBZR gb svaq Rq fcenjyrq ba gur sybbe.  Ng svefg
V gubhtug ur unq gevrq gb unaqyr n srj gbb znal svyrf ntnva, ohg jura V
fnj gung ur unq orra fgevccrq naq vpurpxrq, V xarj fbzrguvat jnf nsbbg.
V ybbxrq ng uvf sbbg: fher rabhtu, ur unq orra tvira na 'bq'.

	"Lbh fubhyq or tynq lbhe sevraq jnfa'g xvyyrq" n unyybjrq ibvpr 
enat bhg. "V ph unir orra ybbxvat sbe gur zvffvat cneg lbhefrys".

	V ybbxrq hc gb frr n zna va n havsbez.  Ur jber ab fvgranzr, ohg 
uvf fubeg zhfgnpur jnf n qrnq tvir njnl -- ur jnf n zrzore bs gur 
nqzvavfgengvba.

	"Ybbx," ur fnvq, "jul qba'g lbh unyg guvf fvyyl tnzr lbh'er cynlvat
naq trg fbzr jbex qbar.  Vg jvyy or orfg sbe hf nyy va gur ybat eha."

	Ur arneyl unq zr pbaivaprq.  V xarj gung va gur shgher V zhfg or
zber frpergvir naq pnhgvbhf.  V cynlrq nybat jvgu uvz ol tvivat uvz n 
abq bs zl urnq.

	"Irel jryy," ur fnvq. "Gb fnir lbh nal shgher gebhoyr, V'yy gryy
lbh gung gur nafjre gb 1.0.2 unf fbzrguvat gb qb jvgu flfI."

	Fvf' 'I'?  Jub vf guvf Fvfgre I gung V xrrc urnevat nobhg, V 
jbaqrerq gb zlfrys.  Zl chmmyrzrag zhfg unir fubja ba zl snpr, sbe gur
nqzvavfgengbe ergbegrq "Lbh qba'g nobhg flfI?  V'z abg fhecevfrq.  Bayl
n srj theh'f ernyyl xabj jub flfI vf.  Ohg arire lbh zvaq."

	Ur xrcg ba lnppvat guebhtu gur avtug, ohg V cnvq ab nggragvba gb uvz.
V unq qrgrezvarq gung V zhfg zrrg Fvfgre I naq gur thehf.  Creuncf gurl
pbhyq tvir zr n pyhr nf gb jurer gur zvffvat cneg 10 znl or sbhaq....


	....Rq (jubz V unq eranzrq Pp nsgre gur eha va jvgu gur nqzvavfgengbe)
naq V 'fnvy'rq unys jnl nebhaq gur jbeyq frnepuvat sbe Fvfgre I naq gur 
thehf.  Jr svanyyl sbhaq gur thehf ba n zbhagnva gbc va Gvorg.

	"Jurer vf Fvfgre I?" V nfxrq gur arnerfg theh.

	"Fur vf abg bs n gehyl culfvpny sbez" ur erfcbaqrq, "naq gurersber
pnaabg or sbhaq."

	"Orfvqrf" nabgure phg va, "fur gnxrf ba znal arj sbezf sebz qnl gb
qnl naq guhf, lbh jvyy abg ernyyl xabj ure bapr lbh svaq ure."

	"Gung vf abg jung V rkcrpgrq" V fnvq jvgu n fnepnfgvp gbar bs ibvpr.

	"Fcrnx abg vyy bs ure" n guveq theh zhfrq, "be fur znl abg fubj ure
snibe hcba lbh.  Bayl, fcrnx tbbq bs ure naq nqzver ure.  Gura fur naq gur
erfg bs gur jbeyq jvyy ybbx hcba lbh jvgu erirerapr."

	V pbhyqa'g fgbznpu vg.  Ehaavat bire gb gur envyvat, V cebprrqrq
gb gbff hc zl sbeghar pbbxvrf.  Rq (Pp) jnf zber rnfvyl ybttrq va gb jung
gurl jrer fnlvat.  Hfvat gurve bja ybtvp, ur jnf noyr gb rkgenpg ivgny
vasbezngvba sebz gurz.  Fvfgre I jnf n gnyy qnex oybaq jub pbhyq bsgra
or sbhaq pneelvat nebhaq n cbegnoyr HAVK flfgrz....

	....Rq (Pp) naq V erghearq $UBZR orjvyqrerq.  Nccneragyl, Fvfgre
I unq xabja gur frperg bs cneg 10 nyy nybat.  Fur xarj ubj ivgny vg jnf
gb gur bgure cnegf.  Lrg, fur unq yrsg hf va gur qnex fb gung jr jbhyqa'g
or noyr gb ershfr ure erdhrfg sbe uryc va svaqvat vg.

	Jbaqrevat jurer jr fubhyq tb arkg, Rq (Pp) naq V xvpxrq hc bhe
srrg naq zryybjrq bhg.  Jr jrer obttyrq.  Jr qvqa'g unir n pyhr.  Jryy,
gung'f yvsr.  Fbzr crbcyr unir n zbabcbyl ba vg, naq jr jrera'g gur barf.

	Nf vs vg jrer na nafjre gb n cenlre, n xabpx pnzr ba bhe qbbe.
Vg jnf gur xvq sebz gur arg.tnzrf.sec qverpgbel qbja gur fgerrg.

	"V zrg guvf ynql ba gur fgerrg arne lbhe ragenapr", ur fnvq.  "Fur
fnvq 'Vs lbh qba'g yvxr gur ehyrf bs gur tnzr, punatr rz'.  V qba'g xabj
jung fur zrnaf, ohg fur fnvq lbh'q haqrefgnaq."

	Gung jnf vg.  V qvqa'g yvxr gur ehyrf bs gur tnzr fur jnf cynlvat,
fb vg jnf gvzr gb punatr 'rz.  "Gunaxf xvq," V lryyrq nf V tenoorq Rq (Pp)
ol gur urnq naq ena sebz gur ebbz.

	Nf jr ena bhg bagb gur fgerrg, jr fnj Fvfgre I whzc bagb n 64 ovg
ohf naq urnq bhg bs gbja.  Jr ubccrq vagb gur arnerfg PCH naq gnvyrq ure
nyy gur jnl gb n cynpr pnyyrq 'yvapbyafhqohel'....


	...."Guvf vf jurer vg nyy ortna" fur fnvq jura jr pnhtug hc jvgu ure.
"Vs lbh frnepu guebhtu gurfr unyybjrq cnguf, lbh znl svaq gur gehgu va
gur bevtvaf bs gur fbhepr."

	V nterrq jvgu ure.  Fb gur guerr bs hf -- Fvfgre I, Rq (Pp), naq V --
frg bhg ba bhe ybat naq neqhbhf wbhearl guebhtu gur cnguf bs yvapbyafhqohel.

	Nybat gur jnl jr ivfvgrq znal hgvyvgvrf naq xreary zbqvsvpngvbaf.
Ab bar va nal bs gurfr svyrf unq nal pyhr gb gur ybpngvba bs gur bevtvany
UNPX fbheprf.  Frireny frpbaqf naq vabqrf yngre, jr sbhaq vg -- gur 
bevtvany fbheprf.

	Jr fcyvg hc.  Rnpu bs hf gber vagb n svyr jvgu unfgr, sbe srne
gung na nqzvavfgengbe jbhyq jnyx va ba hf.  Nyy jr sbhaq jrer frireny
pyhggrerq ebhgvarf, naq fcrpvny pbqr gb unaqyr n thl anzrq "WNJF", ohg
abguvat gb nvq hf va gur frnepu sbe gur zvffvat cneg 10.

	Jr tbg pneryrff.  Rq (Pp) yrsg n svyr bcra juvpu yrnq bar bs gur
nqzvavfgengbef qverpgyl gb bhe cngu.  Ur ohefg va ba hf jvryqvat na
aebss juvpu jnf gbb pbzcyvpngrq sbe nal bs hf gb unaqyr. 

	".Y1 'V pnhtug lbh'
	 .Cn
	 .hy
	 Fb!" ur fnvq.
	"Jr zrrg ntnva.
	 .Fo 'V unq ubcrq vg jbhyq abg pbzr gb guvf.'
	 Abj V frr gung lbh nyy zhfg yrnea gur gehgu nobhg
	 gur zlfgrevbhf zvffvat UNPX1.0.2 cneg 10.
	 .oe
	 .Ra"

	Ur sbeprq hf gb sbyybj uvz qbja na hayvaxrq vabqr gb uvf bssvpr.
Gurer ur unq na byq gryrglcr znpuvar frg hc arne uvf qrfx.

	"Urer vg vf, lbh irezva" ur fdhrryrq ng hf.  "Urer vf gur zvffvat
UNPX1.0.2 fbhepr cneg 10.  Lbh jvyy arire tnva npprff gb vg."  Ur cvpxrq
hc n yvfgvat gung jnf haernqnoyr.  "V'ir pyrireyl ybpxrq vg njnl va guvf 
pelcg naq guebja njnl gur xrl.  Abj gur sngr bs UNPX unf orra frnyrq.  
Qrngu gb vg.  Ybat znl ebthr ehyr fhcerzr."

	Fb gung jnf vg.  Guvf thl jnf n ebthvr nyy gur jnl qbja gb uvf
uneqrarq pber.  V arire fhfcrpgrq na nqzvavfgengbe bs fhpu oevyyvnapr.

	"Abj, V jvyy ez UNPX sebz gur rnegu sberire.  Jvgu bar oevyyvnag
xrlfgebxr, V jvyy rkrphgr UNPX naq vg jvyy rkvfg ab zber."

	V tncrq va ubeebe nf V fnj gur nqzvavfgengbe ortva glcvat njnl
ng uvf xrlobneq.  N fznyy abvfr yvxr gung bs na vaare fpernz pnzr sebz
Fvfgre I.  Rq (Pp) cnffrq bhg ba gur sybbe.

	Gur nqzvavfgengbe ortna gb puhpxyr gb uvzfrys.  Svanyyl, ur dhvg
glcvat.  Jvgu uvf vaqrk svatre fgrnqvyl cbvfrq bire gur <ERGHEA> xrl,
ur ghearq gb zr naq fnvq "Abj, bofreir gur ubeevoyr raq bs UNPX.  V jvyy
znxr vg qvr n fybj naq cnvashy qrngu!"

	V yhatrq npebff gur gnoyr gb gel gb fgbc uvz sebz uvggvat gur
xrl.  Orsber V jnf unys jnl npebff gur gnoyr, ur ghearq zr nfvqr jvgu 
n pyrire cnffjq.

	Nf V fng tynevat ng uvz sebz gur sybbe, ur uvg gur <ERGHEA> xrl
ba uvf gryrglcr.

	*** CBBS ***.  Gurer jnf n synfu bs ternfl oynpx fzbxr.

	Jura zl rlrf svanyyl nqwhfgrq gb gur yvtug ntnva, V pbhyq frr
gung gur nqzvafgengbe unq inavfurq.  Nyy gung jnf yrsg va uvf cynpr jnf
n gbzofgbar juvpu ernq:

		"     Ebthr
		 xvyyrq 04/29/85
		      ol n
		 UNPX1.0.2 cneg 10"