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From: swift@reed.UUCP (Theodore Swift)
Newsgroups: net.misc,net.jokes
Subject: Re: kidnapping hamburger figureheads
Message-ID: <1445@reed.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 3-May-85 05:14:04 EDT
Article-I.D.: reed.1445
Posted: Fri May  3 05:14:04 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 4-May-85 02:09:21 EDT
References: <1480@sunybcs.UUCP> <521@vax2.fluke.UUCP>
Reply-To: swift@reed.UUCP (ted swift)
Distribution: net
Organization: Reed College, Portland, Oregon
Lines: 32
Keywords: Portland, Reed, Pranks
Xref: watmath net.misc:7918 net.jokes:12004
Summary: 1976 wasn't the last time at Reed 


Within a week of the beginning of classes in the Fall of 1980
some group at Reed (College in Portland, Or.) "kidnapped" a
Bob's Big Boy statue and put it in front of the Commons. ( Yes,
Commons was still run by Ron McDonald of Del Monte (yechh! almost
as bad as SAGA)).  Thus began an Odyssey. (a bobysy??): Bob 
reappeared atop a dorm, was rescued by some hearty students who
lowered him to the ground using a fire hose, and was present in
the balcony of the student union building during a Coffeehouse (a
concert sort of thing).  The guitarist performing that night announced
that he was dedicating the "next song to someone we really look up to",
and gestured to the balcony, where Bob was grinning idiotically.  That
night Bob apparently drank too much, for as the sun rose the next morn,
the light glinted off Bob's fiberglass topknot... all that showed above
the murky surface of the lake that bisects the campus.  Bob stayed there
all day while everyone schemed ways of stealing...ahem: rescuing...
him for the greater glory of various respective dorms.  That night
at least two covert attempts were made to retrieve Bob from the muck,
but to no avail. (an aside:  At Reed that fall there was a lot of
graffiti based on a quasi-mythical ex-student named Fred.  All over
campus there were references to Fred, such as "Fred's bathroom wall",
Fred's Circular Staircase, etc.  Apparently there's a piece of cement
in Anchorage (or Juneau) inscribed with "Fred's New Sidewalk".. you get
the idea.)  The next morning, to the astonishment of all those who'd
been involved in the previous night's activities,  Bob was hanging
upside down under the foot bridge with a cardboard sign around his neck
which said "Fred's Bob's Big Boy".  That afternoon the campus
maintainance people took Bob away forever.  But the story ends with a
twist:  they took Bob back to the wrong Big Boy restaurant.

"Why? 'cause I can see the future.  And it's a place...about 70 miles
east of here, where it's lighter.... (Laurie Anderson)