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Path: utzoo!utcsri!ubc-vision!majka
From: majka@ubc-vision.CDN (Marc Majka)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Joke Generator
Message-ID: <936@ubc-vision.CDN>
Date: Sat, 4-May-85 16:51:04 EDT
Article-I.D.: ubc-visi.936
Posted: Sat May  4 16:51:04 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 4-May-85 20:42:50 EDT
Organization: UBC Computational Vision Lab, Vancouver, B.C., Canada
Lines: 145


The ULTIMATE in jokes: the Joke Generator!  This program will entertain 
you with hours of fun and enjoyment.  Just run the following shell archive 
thorough sh (not csh).  Then type "joke" for an original joke!  No more 
dull variations on the same LBJs you have grown to detest.  No more stale
JAP jokes.  This program will supply you with a new joke every time.  With 
this program, you don't even need to read net.jokes anymore!

---
Marc Majka - UBC Laboratory for Computational Vision

****** CUT ***** CUT ***** CUT ***** CUT ***** CUT ***** CUT ***** CUT *****
#
# shell archive - extract files with /bin/sh
#
set CSHOUT1 = 'echo Extract with sh not csh'
set CSHOUT2 = 'exit 1'
$CSHOUT1
$CSHOUT2
echo extracting file joke.c
sed 's/^X//' > joke.c <<'!FUNKY!STUFF!'
X#define MAXT 20
X
Xmain(argc,argv)
Xint argc;
Xchar *argv[];
X{
X	long random();
X	int people, action, things, total, first, rest, np, na, nt;
X	char plist[100][32], alist[100][32], tlist[100][32];
X
X	np = 0;
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"<ethnics>");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"Doctors");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"JAPs");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"Lawyers");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"Martians");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"Newfoundlanders");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"Programmers");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"Students");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"Yuppies");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"Zen Masters");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"Politicians");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"DEC repairmen");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"Russians");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"Americans");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"Canadians");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"Nuns");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"Priests");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"Professors");
X	strcpy(plist[np++],"Californians");
X	
X
X	na = 0;
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"build");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"call");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"change");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"cook");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"eat");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"fix");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"fly");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"make");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"move");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"play");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"watch");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"tell");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"love");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"kill");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"pick");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"climb");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"write");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"save");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"shop");
X	strcpy(alist[na++],"find");
X	
X	
X	nt = 0;
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"VAX");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"IBM PC");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"telephone");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"subroutine");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"house");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"thesis");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"nose");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"Grizzly Bear");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"light bulb");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"birthday cake");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"flat tire");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"trumpet");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"movie");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"airplane");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"book");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"TV show");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"Lisp program");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"C program");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"Fortran program");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"cat");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"hockey game");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"dog");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"fish");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"UNIX system");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"video game");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"baseball bat");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"Lightbulb joke");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"frog");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"compiler");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"nuclear bomb");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"cruise missile");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"tree");
X	strcpy(tlist[nt++],"whale");
X	
X	srandom (getpid());
X	
X	people = random() % np;
X	action = random() % na;
X	things = random() % nt;
X	
X	printf ("How many %s does it take to %s a %s?\n",
X		plist[people],alist[action],tlist[things]);
X
X	total = 1 + (random() % MAXT);
X	first = 1 + (random() % total);
X	rest  = total - first;
X	
X	action = random() % na;
X	things = random() % nt;
X
X	if (total == 1) printf ("Just one. Why should it take any more?\n");
X	else {
X		printf ("%d. %d to %s the %s, ",
X			total,first,alist[action],tlist[things]);
X
X		action = random() % na;
X		things = random() % nt;
X
X		printf ("and %d to %s the %s.\n",rest,alist[action],tlist[things]);
X	}
X	
X	exit(0);
X}
!FUNKY!STUFF!
echo compiling your joke generator
cc -o joke joke.c
echo Done\! Type joke for a funny joke\!
exit 0