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From: asente@Cascade.ARPA
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: Re: Role models for gay relationships
Message-ID: <1052@Cascade.ARPA>
Date: Tue, 23-Apr-85 18:06:55 EST
Article-I.D.: Cascade.1052
Posted: Tue Apr 23 18:06:55 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 26-Apr-85 21:40:51 EST
References: <561@ptsfa.UUCP> <2542@drutx.UUCP>
Organization: Stanford University CIS Apple Orchard
Lines: 35

Lori Fuller says:
> Most of my role models came from books when I first came out. Then I got
> to know more lesbians and many of them were in longterm committed relationships.
> Some of the relationships have lasted and some have not. I don't know anyone
> who has been in a relationship for say 10 years at this point and it would
> be nice to see some people who have managed to stay together and happy for
> many years. I'm convinced that it's possible, though.
> 
> I was conditioned to believe in lifelong relationships (my parents have had
> a reasonably good marriage for 30 years).   I don't remember thinking that
> I had to give up the idea of a lifelong relationship when I discovered that
> I was a lesbian.
> 		Lori Fuller  ihnp4!drutx!lmf

I believe that one reason that same-sex relationships tend to be less
enduring than marriages is simply that the option of marriage is not
available.  (Note that I said "tend to be," not "aren't."  I sincerely
hope that my current relationship lasts as long as I do.)  There
isn't any significant difference in the longevity of gay relationships
and unmarried straight relationships that I can see.  Marriage provides
a barrier that is to be overcome if you want to break up; you can't
just pack your bag and leave.  Thus I think that there is more
incentive to try to iron things out and not let the emotions of the
moment dictate your decisions.

On the other hand, I think that the major reason for the increase in
divorce rate recently is that people are no longer willing to stay in
marriages that make them unhappy just because of the stigma that used
to be attached to divorce.

	-paul asente
	    ...decwrl!Glacier!Cascade!asente	asente@Cascade.ARPA

"Love me 'till my heart stops,
Love me 'till I'm dead."		-Talking Heads