Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site utastro.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!ut-sally!utastro!fbr From: fbr@utastro.UUCP (Frank Ray) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: men's bodies (long) Message-ID: <58@utastro.UUCP> Date: Wed, 24-Apr-85 14:52:07 EST Article-I.D.: utastro.58 Posted: Wed Apr 24 14:52:07 1985 Date-Received: Fri, 26-Apr-85 23:32:36 EST Distribution: net Organization: U. Texas, Astronomy, Austin, TX Lines: 200 A while back, I requested men to respond to the question about whether they were pleased with their own physical "temples". I have simply gathered the meat of the responses, removed all identification associated with each, and concatenated them. It's long. Escape now if you're not interested. Contributed responses follow, separated by -------------------- ************************************************* It seems that our messages crossed in posting--this refers, I'm sure, to the same subject. I read about it in both the _Boston Globe_ and _New York Times_. As for my own attitude, I know my body's not perfect, but it's all I have. My girlfriend, who doesn't think she's fat (and isn't!) agrees with me. ----------------------- > I think the women that are picking at their food on dates are in a > double bind. On the one hand, they're trying to meet *your* expectations > and on the other hand, they're trying to meet society's (read *men's*) > expectations of women to be slender. We men have more than a few faults, but that one's fictitious. A university study widely reported lately found that women very commonly think they're too fat, while men's self-image is that "I'm perfect". But the men are much less choosy about women's bodies than women are. I don't recall what women think about men. What would the world be like if women were less self-doubting and men more so? ---------------------------- I for a long time, was very disatisfied with my body. It didn't match the media image of 'perfection/hunk'. I finally decided that this was very silly, and forcibly changed my attitudes. ----------------------------------------- I think the reason for this is that women are brought up believing that they must live up to much higher standards than men are. Most women would be physi- cally unable to have the kind of body they *think* they should have, thus the high level of dissatisfaction. Men are not nearly as pressured to have perfect Hollywood/Madison Avenue bodies, hence less worry about it. In my own case, I have a fairly good body (I'm tall and have "a good ass" according to my current lover), but I could stand to lose a few pounds and I'm working on it (I've lost 14 since New Year's and have about 15 more to go). I do have confidence that I *can* obtain the body I want, however, which may not be the case for many of those "dissatisfied" women. ------------------------------------ I like my body just fine. It serves to transport and nourish my brain, which, after all, is its intended purpose. -------------------------------- I have mixed feelings about my body. I often wish I had a metabolism more like my brother's, which makes it almost impossible for him to gain weight. On the other hand, mine isn't that bad, and I know from experience that if I work at it, I can get to an ideal weight. I wish my skin were less oily, ditto my hair (pain in the ass, or should it be, head, to have to shampoo every morning), but neither is a disaster. I wouldn't mind being taller, but I'm not short and an average height has its advantages. I'm pretty well satisfied with my face, which is just as well, since I have no hope of getting away from it. In other words, if I could selectively change a few things, I would, but I would never gamble on getting an entirely new body (were such a thing possible), because there are too many good things about this one. ------------------------------------------ I am a 23 year old male. I am basically happy with my body, except for the fact that I wish I were a little more muscular. I suppose this is because I believe that more women would be happy with my body. And I suspect that the women who have complaints about their bodies do so for similar reasons. -------------------------------------------- General response is: Not happy with body - overweight. ----------------- My body, by me. I like my body because I have lived in it for 39 years and kinda gotten used to it. My wife likes my body too, because after 13 years of married life it still gives her pleasure (me too). My kids like my body because it carries them when they are tired, builds toys for them, digs the garden and makes a BMX circuit, tickles them and fights with them when they want a rough-and-tumble. Yes its not a bad body. Its 6ft 2ins tall and weighs 225 pounds. It is Caucasian, has dark brown hair (except for my temples which are like the "before" part of a Grecian Formula advert. This is a bit too nebulous, please try again if you will, by setting a few question categories so that some sort of standard response will enable you to draw statistical conclusions. Sadly this is my last day on the net because I go home tonight, you can contact me by mail by reversing the path on the To: line and finishing it off by ... (address removed) I look forward to the results of whatever comes of this, ----------------------- Do I dislike this body? Well, it's the only one I've got, and all the parts still work, which seems sufficient. On the other hand, several of them don't work all that well, leading me to wonder how long the thing is really going to hold together. It's certainly given me a greater than average share of troubles in the past, but nothing irrecoverable, yet. Looks are adequate but I am more concerned with functionality. I give it a 7.5 out of 10, or thereabouts. ----------------------- I am not satisfied with my body image. I reject the macho standard but also realize that I should weigh at least 10 or 15 pounds less than I do. And I should get more excercise than I do. Maybe the advent of spring will see me getting more active again... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- I indeed like my body and its capaity for improvment. I work pretty hard to keep it in 'good viewing condition' and it is worth the effort. I think women have problems in that they are not willing to do what it really takes to improve the body - good hard exerise. As Plato said it, cosmetics are only countrfeits for the real thing. A healthy body looks infinitely better than a made-up one.... women should spend less on make-up and dress, and put more time in at the spa....... ------------------------- I saw two researchers on the Today show a couple weeks ago discussing images of the body -- is this the show to which you refer? Of course, the discussion reached the normal depth of Today interviews (read almost none) but i think they mentioned that they had also checked out men, and found that most of them had a more realistic appraisal, and generally more positive, than women. Too bad i don't remember the people's names who did the studies, or where the results were published. it will be interesting to see what sort of response you get on the net. my own very unofficial research indicates that a fair number of men form their own self-images sometime during that ugly stage of adolescence, and never notice that they grew into rather appealing creatures. i also am impressed by the number of "nerdy" sorts who could be rather appealing who want their women to be built like christie brinkley and dress like lady diana, while they themselves own two pairs of grubby jeans and one pair of tennis shoes, which they wear for all occasions. you know, the sort who think women should wear 4" spike heels for a long walk, but find anything but tennies "too uncomfortable" for themselves. i seem to be having trouble writing coherent sentences. i guess what i'm referring to is men who EXPECT very different appearances for themselves and the women in their lives. i've never seen an attempt to measure this. keep us posted. it's an interesting topic. ----------------------------- About three years ago I decided that I was unhappy with my body, after all who wants to be skinny? I decided that I would start a buildup program. I was enrolled part-time at a local community college and signed up for a weight lifting class and a stretch class (wouldn't want to get muscle-bound). I went out to the health food store and bought some "Joe Palooka's Instant Crash Weight Gain Magic Formula blah blah blah Powder" For the next seventeen weeks I threw myself into the program lifting weights every day while eating Wheaties, tune fish, cottage cheese and anything else that I'd heard was good for body-builders. I lost two pounds. I decided I liked my body just fine. ----------------------------------------- ... Basically though, I am very pleased with my body. Not that I am proud of this, but I do notice that I contribute to my SO's insecurity about her body. She asks me if a particular dress makes her look fat, and I can't say no all the time. For the most part I am cautious about such things, but she sees me when me guard is down. I don't carry a lot of guilt over this double standard. I just think of it as part of living together, and our unspoken bargain. ------------------------------------------- I am about 20-30 pounds overweight, and thereby not proud of my body. I'm try- ing to start running to lose weight. Perhaps I'll play some sport like racquet- ball, but I'll have to see what my schedule is like. ------------------------------------------ ******************************************************************************* Well, it wasn't really a survey. But thanks to all who contributed. These anonymous remarks should of interest to everyone. fbr