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From: rlr@pyuxd.UUCP (Dr. Emmanuel Wu)
Newsgroups: net.politics,net.singles,net.motss,net.jokes
Subject: Re: Yuppies
Message-ID: <932@pyuxd.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 29-Apr-85 12:39:38 EDT
Article-I.D.: pyuxd.932
Posted: Mon Apr 29 12:39:38 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 30-Apr-85 06:29:06 EDT
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Organization: STRONGARM COLLECTION AGENCY:  We have no slogan
Lines: 69
Keywords: Gruppies
Xref: watmath net.politics:8756 net.singles:6829 net.motss:1639 net.jokes:11938

> No, no no. Gay yuppies are referred to as "guppies".
>        Richard Johnson                  Apple Computer, Inc.

Which leads into yet another new classification: the GRUPPIES.

What are gruppies, you ask?  Well, if a large percentage of the yuppie
population consists of slightly overaged ex-hippies who have discarded
the college days hippie value system in favor of a more middle-class
variety, then the gruppies are the ones who want both the middle-class
life AND the old days of their misspent youth.

Examples of contrasts:

Yuppies own BMWs, Volvos, etc.
Gruppies still own the same beat-up VW Bug.

Yuppies listen to Fleetwood Mac, Lionel Ritchie, Kenny Rogers, etc.
Gruppies still listen to the Grateful Dead.

Yuppies do cocaine.
Gruppies are still doing whatever it was they were doing 15 years ago.
	(Even if they've abstained, they still have the flashbacks)

Yuppie stereo systems contain the finest audiophile components in sleekly
	designed rack-mounted cabinets.
Gruppies may have the same sorts of systems, but they are mounted on wooden
	boards supported by cinder blocks. (Under which they keep their
	Grateful Dead albums.)

Yuppie residences contain all sorts of modern furniture.
Gruppie residences contain the same furniture used back when they were
	in school, loaned (?) to them by their parents.

Yuppies eat Le Menu's cooked in their microwaves.
Gruppies eat only that which is "organic".  Like Fritos.

Yuppie bookshelves are stocked with tomes like "Megatrends", "In Search of
	Excellence", "The One Minute Manager", and "How to Make a Killing in
	the Stock Market"
Gruppie bookshelves (also consisting of wooden boards supported by
	cinder blocks) contain books like "Sun Signs", "Zen and the Art
	of Motorcycle Maintenance", "Steal This Book".  And "How to Make a
	Killing in the Stock Market".

Yuppies live in condos or townhouses, or they rent apartments.
Gruppies rent houses.

Yuppies play Trivial Pursuit.
Gruppies meditate.

Yuppies play racquetball.
Gruppies meditate.

Yuppies sometimes light candles at dinnertime.
Gruppies burn incense.

An important yuppie life decision might be "Should I get a microwave oven
	or a VCR?"
An important gruppie life decision might be "Should I go to work?"
---
So where do I fit into my own classifications, you may ask?
Well, I own a VCR, but it sits on a wooden board supported by cinder blocks.
And I don't own a microwave.  Which means that, in my conventional oven,
it takes a lot longer for the Le Menu's to cook.
-- 
"to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day
 to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human
 being can fight and never stop fighting."  - e. e. cummings
	Rich Rosen	ihnp4!pyuxd!rlr