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From: mccolm@ucla-cs.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.women
Subject: dancing and singles' bars
Message-ID: <5160@ucla-cs.ARPA>
Date: Wed, 1-May-85 22:22:38 EDT
Article-I.D.: ucla-cs.5160
Posted: Wed May  1 22:22:38 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 7-May-85 08:27:46 EDT
Organization: UCLA Computer Science Department
Lines: 33
Xref: linus net.singles:5923 net.women:4440

Lots of flak has been flying about the behavior of people in singles' bars.
Some go there to dance, some to meet people, some, apparently, to drink and
think about dancing.  And some go to watch the other people.  I'm sure there
are other reasons as well.

Problem:  if people go there for all kinds of different reasons, how can
everyone get what they want out of the scene?

Answer from most people (and we hope to get them out of the gene pool):
assume the other person is there for the same reason you are there, and be
obnoxous.

If I went to a singles bar to dance, I wouldn't want to talk.  But if I
went there to meet people, I would.  The main problem is there are those
who go to get laid, and they assume everyone else does as well.  But the
overtly rude behavior that is the only defence against these toadies offends
and hurts the nice people who are simply at cross-purposes.

For this, I recommend that if you want to dance, ask someone to dance, and if
you want to start a conversation, ask if you can join {whomever}.  And don't
be rude, except in self-defence.  And don't think the less of someone who
looks like he/she wants to ask to do either, but does nothing.

Of course, this doesn't cover rude behavior on the dance floor, such as
wandering hands and simply walking off, but toadies will be toadies.  Say this
to yourself three times when it happens, and you'll feel smug, at least.
But don't put up with it.

There are some who feel left out if they don't ask, and guilty if they do.
Why?  They get the impression the askee resents the interruption.

				       -Eric
				       ...!ucla-cs!mccolm