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From: tobias@ucla-cs.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: humor
Message-ID: <5329@ucla-cs.ARPA>
Date: Thu, 9-May-85 20:01:20 EDT
Article-I.D.: ucla-cs.5329
Posted: Thu May  9 20:01:20 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 12-May-85 11:26:18 EDT
Organization: UCLA Computer Science Department
Lines: 36


	The Germans and Americans are engaged in battle many years ago in
a land far, far away.  The Americans are dug in, awaiting the approach of
the treacherous Nazi blitz.  One particular U.S. soldier, Private Sam, 
hears his sergeant cry, "Charge!"  Responding jubilantly to the command,
Sam jumps out of his trench and begins to run toward the Germans.
Suddenly realizing he has no weapons, Sam hightails it back to the trench
and finds Sergeant Fred at the command post.  "Sergeant Fred," Sam exclaims,
"I have no weapons!" 
 
	"Worry not, oh fearless one," Fred replies.  The sergeant hands
Sam a broom.  "Wield this, and thou shalt terrorize!"

	"But how do I use this?" inquires Sam.

	"Point it at the enemy and say, 'Bangity bang bang! Bangity bang
BANG!"

	Eagerly, Sam bolts out of the trench toward the enemy, yelling
"Bangity bang bang! Bangity bang BANG!"  They drop like flies.  Enthused,
Sam yells, "Hah, take this you slimes!"  Improvising, Sam begins to use
his weapon like a bayonet, screaming "Stabity stab stab. Stabity stab STAB!"
at those who dare to get close enough.

	Private Sam, hero of the battle, has all but demolished the dreaded
blitz.  A sole enemy soldier approaches within range.  Calmly, Sam fires
at him, "Bangity bang bang! Bangity Bang BANG!"  Nothing happens. "Must have
missed," he observes.  Taking careful aim, Sam repeats the onslaught,
"Bangity bang bang. Bangity bang BANG!"  Still nothing happens.  The enemy
draws near.  "Bangity bang BANG!  BANGITY BANG BANG!!!" No dice, Sam.
Sam must now use his bayonet.  "STABITY STAB STAB!!"

	With incredible force, the enemy pushes against Sam.  Falling 
backward, Sam hears him say, "Tankity tank tank.  Tankity tank tank...."