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From: rlm@lanl.ARPA
Newsgroups: net.music
Subject: Re: Vatican Rag
Message-ID: <25682@lanl.ARPA>
Date: Fri, 10-May-85 15:18:30 EDT
Article-I.D.: lanl.25682
Posted: Fri May 10 15:18:30 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 12-May-85 01:44:40 EDT
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Organization: Los Alamos National Laboratory
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> I am looking for the lyrics to the "song" - Vatican Rag.
> 
Here it is, direct from "Too Many Songs by Tom Lehrer with not enough
  drawings by Ronald Searle" (Pantheon Books):


    THE VATICAN RAG

First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Do whatever steps you want if
You have cleared them with the Pontiff,
Ev'rybody say his own
Kyrie eleison,
Doin' the Vatican Rag.

Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional,
There they guy who's got religion 'll
Tell you if your sin's original.
If it is try playin' it safer,
Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate!

So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Make a cross on your abdomen,
When in Rome do like a Roman,
Ave Maria,
Gee, it's good to see ya,
Gettin' ecstatic an'
 sort-a dramatic an'
 doin' the Vatican Rag!