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From: jcjeff@ihlpg.UUCP (Richard Jeffreys)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: second tries
Message-ID: <482@ihlpg.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 16-May-85 00:25:27 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihlpg.482
Posted: Thu May 16 00:25:27 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 16-May-85 22:25:04 EDT
References: <2847@sdcc3.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories
Lines: 55

> Does anybody out there have any experience or ideas on restarting a
> relationship once it has been broken up?
> .......
> What I am worried about is how to deal with the resentment of what
> happened between us, and my pain from the breakup. I have forgiven her,
> but I also am afraid that little pangs of jealousy might start cropping
> up in my feelings towards her. I serioulsy have no idea of what will
> really happen, and I have never really seen this happen effectivly
> before. (I've only seen it attempted once, and the situation was quite a
> bit different.) So tell me: Is it possible to love someone again the
> same way you used to? I think I'm going to find out the hard way, but
> I'd also like to know what I'm going to be up against.
> 
> Any comments, either constructive or destructive, are appreciated.
>
> fritzz the Zebra

I was once in a very similar position, the time between breaking up and
getting back together was about eight weeks. I don't think going into why we
split up is very relevant here, apart from saying that nobody else was
involved on either side and it was me that instigated the split. A very tough
decision to make, but one that I felt I HAD to make at the time.

My (then) SO really wanted us to get back together again, and I was also 
missing her a great deal, we had been together for about a year, and despite
my decision, I still felt as though a large part of me had died. I agreed
that we should get back together, I was missing her, she me.

I'm sorry to report that it did not work out, I still had the reason for the
split still fresh in my mind. I was the one that had caused it. I had
difficulty comming to terms with the fact I had just got myself back into the
same situation. I had spent so much time agonizing over my reasons for
splitting up the first time, that continuing the relationship on the
original basis was impossible. We could both see that it would never be that
same and decided to split up (for good) about four weeks later.

My XSO is still a very good friend.

Getting back together, in this case, was a bad idea to begin with.
If you DON'T try, you will NEVER KNOW.
If you DO try, It MAY work out for the best.

Good Luck !

-- 
 [ Hey when I get it right;
                       will you tell me please;
                                           I wanna know -  Joan Armatrading ]
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||      From the keys of Richard Jeffreys ( British Citizen Overseas )      ||
||              employed by North American Philips Corporation              ||
||              @ AT&T Bell Laboratories, Naperville, Illinois              ||
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||  General disclaimer about anything and everything that I may have typed  ||
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