Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.3 alpha 4/15/85; site ucbvax.ARPA Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!cbosgd!ihnp4!mhuxn!mhuxr!ulysses!ucbvax!cuccia From: cuccia@ucbvax.ARPA (Nick "Coosh" Cuccia) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: What people look for in MOTAS Message-ID: <7323@ucbvax.ARPA> Date: Tue, 21-May-85 01:19:16 EDT Article-I.D.: ucbvax.7323 Posted: Tue May 21 01:19:16 1985 Date-Received: Wed, 22-May-85 01:42:06 EDT References: <147@unc.UUCP> <158@unc.UUCP> <235@sdcc13.UUCP> <9572@rochester.UUCP> <73@utastro.UUCP> <9621@rochester.UUCP> Reply-To: cuccia@ucbvax.UUCP (Nick "Coosh" Cuccia) Organization: Insanity Unlimited Lines: 56 > >>> Like yourself!! Smile!! One's attitude and carriage has as >>> much to do with attractiveness as facial features or other characteristics. >>> Get into shape physically and your confidence will improve. A positive >>> self-image and a confident air are ESSENTIAL components of "attractiveness". >> >>Just the suggestion "Like yourself" won't do it for you, I'm sure: >>you need a *reason* to gain your own approval. That makes things much >>more difficult. >> >> Jeff Brown the Scumbag > > OF COURSE you need a reason! Or a few. I never meant just go >out and suddenly like yourself - I for one most certainly know it can be a >long and difficult process. But the final result is often a *component* >of attractiveness!! > >>I've seen several cases where a *physical* change wasn't necessary. > > I've seen MANY! But a physical change is only an example. I >know that when I'm low on self-esteem, often a good workout and knowing >that I can rely on my body and my health helps. Sometimes, but not >always. Sometimes doing something else that I feel is unique and that >I like about myself helps (e.g. I'll start a new knitting project!!) >But not always! FINDING those reasons to like oneself, and then using >them *can be* important to self-esteem maintenance. > > -Noemi > I was just moping around for about six to nine months this past year, life was just going bad, my SO had broken up with me, got laid off of a job, one of my closest friends dies, and I live through six straight standups in six straight weeks by six different women. Ask me who felt like ugly-on-a-stick. The only thing that I had going for me during this time period was my involvement with the Glee Club on campus. It took exactly one weekend out of Berkeley--my first in over a year-- to get me out of the tailspin. Took off to Yosemite with about 30 Glee Clubbers and was very different afterwards. The big thing for me was hiking from Yosemite Lodge to the top of Upper Yosemite Falls and back in late winter in just under four hours round trip. Did lots of BSing and singing, etc. My attitude changed after just three days. If possible, try something different if you feel you're in a rut and feel bad about yourself. My definition of 'attractive' puts more weight on a person's feelings about themselves and others than on appearance. People who are stressed make me feel stressed, people who are mellow make me mellow... On to another semi-random question. Several friends of mine and I seem to have the same 'disease', so to speak. All of us are attracted to women of approximately the same ethnic background: all of our recent SOs (except for my most recent) have been Chinese, Japanese, Korean, or southeast Asian. All of us are pretty exclusive in our tastes, and have been so for longer than we have known each other. Anybody else out there shar similar tastes in MOTAS?