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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!ihnp4!alberta!sask!zaphod!dkatz
From: dkatz@zaphod.UUCP (Dave Katz)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: 2 Favorite Computer Manufacturer (FCM) jokes - may be offensive to FCM
Message-ID: <261@zaphod.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 28-May-85 01:36:34 EDT
Article-I.D.: zaphod.261
Posted: Tue May 28 01:36:34 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 30-May-85 02:16:00 EDT
Reply-To: dkatz@zaphod.UUCP (Dave Katz)
Organization: Develcon Electronics, Saskatoon, SK
Lines: 41
Summary: 

Recently, three representatives from FCM computers were on their way to a
conference, travelling by car.  One was an FCM Sales Rep, one was an FCM
Software Specialist, and the last was an FCM Service Rep.

As fortune would have it, they ran over a bottle of the NEW Coke, and
got a flat tire.

"No Problem," said the Sales Rep, "this is one of the finest automobiles
ever made.  It can run forever with a flat tire, and only slightly less
with two."

"Well," said the Software Specialist, "I could fix it, but first I need
a User Request for Change (URC), then I have to do a Problem Specification
(PS) and an Impact Analysis (AA), followed by a Detailed Analysis (DA), and
a Detailed Design (DD), and finally, after I get Change Approval (CA), I
can proceed to schedule a fix.  In the meantime, I'll try to find a
quick workaround."

"I don't know why you guys are spending all this time talking about
it," said the Service Rep.  So he went out and started to rotate the
tires to see if the problem would go away.

---------------------- - - - - - - - - - - - - ------------------------

Three surgeon were at a cocktail party one night, out on the golf
course, when discussion turned to the question of what kind of person
was the easiest to operate on.

"No question!!" said Surgeon Number One.  "The easiest is an FCM Service
Rep.  When you cut him open, all there is is a set of schematics.  You
just look on the schematics, identify the faulty component and replace
it."

"Uh uh," said Surgeon Number Two.  "The easiest is an FCM software
specialist.  When you cut him open, all there is are tables and
reference manuals.  You just look up the bug in the manuals, reference
the tables for the correct value, and you're finished."

"Wrongo," said Surgeon Number Three.  "By far the easiest is an FCM
Sales Rep.  To understand, you have to remember that there are only two
parts, the mouth and the asshole, and they are interchangeable"