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From: tortorino@hamstr.DEC (Slippin' away . . .)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Caution - may be offensive to haters of PUNS!
Message-ID: <2325@decwrl.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 26-May-85 22:33:54 EDT
Article-I.D.: decwrl.2325
Posted: Sun May 26 22:33:54 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 30-May-85 07:36:42 EDT
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  A professor of Greek takes his torn suit to a Greek tailor.  The tailor
looks at the pants and says, "Euripides?"

  "Yes," replies the professor.  "Eumenides."

**************************************************************************

  Year in and year out a doctor stops by a bar on the way home from work
and orders a daiquiri with a walnut in it.  One day the bartender sees
the doctor approaching, reaches for a walnut, and finds that there are
none.  He rushes around the bar until he finds an old hickory nut which
he tosses in the glass.

  The doctor takes one sip, grimaces, and bellows, "What the hell is this?"

  The bartender meekly replies, "A hickory-daiquiri, Doc."

**************************************************************************

  A man is stricken with the oddest affliction:  whenever he breaks wind, 
it makes the sound "honda."  He finally asks his doctor about it.  The
doctor exhausts all the references in the literature and is just about to
conclude that there is no answer when he is hit with a brainstorm.  "I
will call Honda in Japan and talk to the company doctor."

  He talks with the Japanese doctor about the problem and he says, "Check
to see if your patient has a dental infection -- an abscess."

  The patient is checked and sure enough there is an infection.  It is
treated and the affliction ends.

  But the American doctor is haunted by the ability of his Japanese
counterpart to diagnose the problem from such a distance and finally calls
him on the phone.

  "Doc, how did you know?"

  "Simple," replies the Japanese doctor.  "Abscess makes fart go 'honda.'"