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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!hao!woods
From: woods@hao.UUCP (Greg Woods)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Too much to ask?
Message-ID: <1556@hao.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 23-May-85 18:19:24 EDT
Article-I.D.: hao.1556
Posted: Thu May 23 18:19:24 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 24-May-85 22:47:37 EDT
References: <849@sdcsla.UUCP> <1669@ittvax.UUCP>
Distribution: net
Organization: High Altitude Obs./NCAR, Boulder CO
Lines: 28

Scott Anderson (ittvax!anderson) in <1669@ittvax.UUCP> writes:
> Basically, I think that if she wants to see other men, you've
> already lost her @i(as a lover), and the question is whether you want
> to try to keep her @i(as a friend).

  This is a potentially damaging misconception. Why does a lover have to
be exclusive? I am currently involved in a relationship with a woman who
has another lover, and it is still quite good for me. The reason it works
is because everything is out in the open (at least between *us*). I know
about him, he knows about me, etc. There's no sneaking around, or any pretense
that she is my SO (or his, for that matter).
  I only bring this up to point out that you *can* have a lover that is not
an exclusive SO. Requiring that a lover be exclusive may be closing out a lot
of wonderful relationships. As long as you have no expectations, you won't
get hurt. It may turn into an exclusive relationship in the long run (in my
case or Clark's) or it may not. I say, enjoy the present and quit worrying
about the future. If you start worrying about her "leaving you" for another
man, you may well create that happening.

--Greg
-- 
{ucbvax!hplabs | allegra!nbires | decvax!noao | harpo!seismo | ihnp4!noao}
       		        !hao!woods

CSNET: woods@NCAR  ARPA: woods%ncar@CSNET-RELAY
   
     "...I may not be right but I've never been wrong
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