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From: paveleck@ihlpl.UUCP (Bob Paveleck)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Singles Pairing Off
Message-ID: <150@ihlpl.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 23-May-85 10:21:04 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihlpl.150
Posted: Thu May 23 10:21:04 1985
Date-Received: Fri, 24-May-85 23:58:56 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories
Lines: 55

There has been some speculation lately in this newsgroup on the reasons
why people join dating services (originally stemming, I believe, from
the "Too Much to Ask?" article).  The author (sorry, but I forgot his
name) met a woman via a dating service and they have been dating each
other for a while, but the woman decided that she wanted to continue
meeting other men via the dating service.

One respondant felt that most women subscribe to dating services to
meet an SO, so her decision to date other men meant that she wasn't
interested in a serious relationship with the author.  This feeling
was particularly interesting to me (and, perhaps, to many others),
since I have experienced a very different attitude from women I met
through dating services I've been involved with in the past.

I've only met around 25 women through these services, but I've found
that NONE of them got involved in the services to meet an SO.
Although I feel the same way as the above respondant (i. e., why spend
your money and go through the hassle of meeting new people when you don't
really want to get involved with ANYONE), it seems that most people don't
think that way.  I don't know all the reasons why these people subscribe
to dating services, but I think the following list contains a few
common ones:

(1) To have a good "screening" method.  _M_o_s_t of the sleazy, low-life
    people one might meet elsewhere wouldn't go through the trouble
    of joining a dating service (answering questions, paying money,
    etc.), so the people one DOES meet tend to be more honorable.

(2) A dating service is a safer route to take if you are a person who
    is new to the area (and doesn't know anyone else outside of their
    boss or co-workers).  This ties in closely with (1), but a person
    who just moved into the area is more likely to be afraid of taking
    chances on going out in unfamiliar surroundings (moving into an
    unfamiliar area is tough enough!).

(3) To have a constant flow of dates.  Most dating services send 
    "referrals" (material introducing other members to you) regularly,
    so members can count on going out with someone new all the time
    (perhaps, with as many as 4 or 5 people per month).

(4) As a "last resort" to meeting people.  I think there a quite a few
    members of these services who just don't get to meet other single
    people with similar interests via "conventional" means (like work,
    parties, through friends, church, etc.).  The services you subscribe
    to are supposed to introduce you to people with similar interests, so
    you theoretically solve this problem by joining (although, in many
    cases I've experienced, they've totally missed the boat!).

Well, that's my 2 cents worth!  I'm interested in hearing other peoples'
reasons why they joined dating services (or why they think people join).
Maybe your thoughts can help "Too Much to Ask?" (and anyone else it
applies to) see his friend's motives more clearly.

Bob Paveleck
ihlpl!paveleck