Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 (Tek) 9/28/84 based on 9/17/84; site tekecs.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!hao!hplabs!tektronix!orca!tekecs!pauls From: pauls@tekecs.UUCP (Paul Sweazey) Newsgroups: net.women Subject: Why we are so cruel Message-ID: <5394@tekecs.UUCP> Date: Sun, 2-Jun-85 00:21:47 EDT Article-I.D.: tekecs.5394 Posted: Sun Jun 2 00:21:47 1985 Date-Received: Mon, 3-Jun-85 04:37:23 EDT Distribution: net Organization: Tektronix, Wilsonville OR Lines: 52 There are many thousands of subscribers to net.women, yet almost all the postings are submitted by a couple dozen people. Why? Because it is so dangerous! People who in person-to-person encounters would never directly challenge, contradict, or insult, forget all the impathy and compassion that distinguish adults from children. It is very tempting to use examples from current net.women postings. Some examples are in this file right now but I will edit them away before I send this. Rather, let me suggest all the ways that others may choose to tear apart the first paragraph of this article: You misspelled empathy. Interesting point. Why, though, are you picking on net.women? It is no different than any other news group. Where did you get your statistics? Before you start making up numbers of subscribers and submitters, do some research. Oh come on, the reason people don't post to the net is because they are too lazy, or uninterested, or the topics are uninteresting. This net isn't worth the computer-time it is run on. Qualities that "distinguish adults from children"? Looks like stereotyped age discrimination to me. It takes a true hypocrite to attack the entire net with a lecture on compassion and empathy. You are more guilty than we are because you can't see that your own posting is a prime example of the kind of behavior you are so self-righteously attacking. What kind of two-faced liar are you? I would never fake it, pretending to agree with someone when I don't. I don't have to be dishonest to be tactful. Why do you? Most of these responses have real points to make. However, the reason people need to say them is often not because the original message was wrong, but because written and spoken language is inherently imprecise. Without the rich context of acquaintance, vocal intonation, facial expressions, and body language, the same words that are so understandable in person are destined to be misunderstood. For the same reasons the responses seem more polarized and biting than they are intended. The sideways-smiley-face :-) just can't replace a real smiling face. Soon, usually by the second RE:, nobody is smiling. All involved have taken offense and they *HAVE TO* defend themselves. I suspect that the network is an amplification or caricature of person- to-person social interactions, and that the person that manages to participate on the net without eliciting ire has no problems with other forms of human intercourse. As for the rest of us... you always hurt the one you love... and certainly the one you have never met.