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From: hsu@cvl.UUCP (Dave Hsu)
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: Steven Spielberg: Slime Mold
Message-ID: <527@cvl.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 7-Jun-85 02:00:49 EDT
Article-I.D.: cvl.527
Posted: Fri Jun  7 02:00:49 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 12-Jun-85 00:25:15 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: Computer Vision Lab, U. of Maryland, College Park
Lines: 41

This barely qualifies in intensity as a flame.  Perhaps as a small ember.

Why does Steven Spielberg, with his schlocky, hack films, make so much
money?  Are all the junior-high age people so null-minded as to actively
pursue this guy's films (as well as his wonderful spin-off stuff)?  After
seeing a few of these films (no...not in a theatre) I decided that here
was THE guy to film some of Piers Anthony's more recent "works".  Observe
the wonderful formula plots:

1) Somebody runs around doing stupid things, whether it be chasing low-
   flying UFO's, or hiding weird beings from the neighbors.  Do you go
   around and chase low-flying planes?  Do you collect strange life-forms
   in your closet and secretly laugh about them with your friends?
2) Once discovered, Organized People (government often, sometimes real
   crooks) try to shut the hero down.  The hero, of course, does obviously
   dangerous, even MORE STUPID things, because he/she is either very
   greedy about his/her alien beings, or because he/she is among the 25 most
   xenophobic people surviving in America.  Do you drive into apparent plague
   areas?  How about outrunning the local authorities (road-racers need not
   reply)?  Gosh...how did the feds know enough about my home to bring out
   a truck with just the right amount of equipment to swathe it in plastic
   sheets, and hire people to run around in funny suits?  For that matter...
   ARE THESE PEOPLE in the funny suits?  They seem pretty incompetent too.

Ok...face it, this stuff is UFBS.  That's UnBelievably Shallow.  FUBAR may
also be an appropriate description.  All we need now is Spielberg to do a
Pepsi commercial.  Arrgh.  Arrgh.  This guy would probably be stranded
if John Williams didn't write his soundtracks.  Can you honestly say you
liked E.T. because it was a good story?  Can you spell C-O-R-N-Y?

Maybe I'm picking on you, the audience, a bit too much.  But what can I do
so long as Spielberg films and Diet Pepsi Free run amok in modern society?
Can we allow Voltron to supplant Johnny Sokko's Flying Robot?  Where's 
Ultraman when we need him?  And Bullwinkle...I can't find Bullwinkle
anywhere!

(oops...I diverged)

Having Spoken His Piece
-dave