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From: on@hpda.UUCP (Owen Rowley)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: offensive to royalty
Message-ID: <513@hpda.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 7-Jun-85 19:20:44 EDT
Article-I.D.: hpda.513
Posted: Fri Jun  7 19:20:44 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 9-Jun-85 03:36:57 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: Hewlett Packard Co. Cupertino, CA.
Lines: 58


 It was a sunny day in the U.K. , and the queen and Lady Di thought that it 
 would be jolly fun to take advantage of the weather by taking a drive in the
 country. They boarded their chaufer driven Rolls Royce, and promptly ordered
 the driver to meander about the countryside for a bit. As they were tooling
 down a narrow country lane they were accosted by a highwayman brandishing
 two large ugly looking pistols.The driver stopped at the sight of this fear-
 some criminal, and when he did the thief appeared at the oback compartment
 window which was open to allow its royal occupants to enjoy the fresh air.
	"All right now " he said "this is a pretty catch we've got here today
	"It' yer Majesty and Lady Di !!." pointing one of his pistols right
	at the queens face he said "Hand over that fancy diamond Tiara
	that I always see you wearin' on the stamps 'n all" 

	"Oh I'm very sorry" said the queen "I only wear my tiara at 
	state dinners and for posing sessions, you know"
	"I didn't wear it today!!"

	Taken aback by the queens direct manner he points the pistol at 
	Lady Di and says "OK then you .....gimme that emerald ring
	wut you got from yer 'usband. I read about it in the news,
	you can't fool me"


	Lady Di lifts her habnd up to take off  the ring and gasps
	"Oh its gone , oh my godness, I must have left it on the 
	washstand at that petrol station back in Herefordshire.
	Oh my goodness how absent minded of me . why I'ld  forget
	my head if I didn't have my hat on. Whatever will Charles think 
	about this mess.

	"Never mind never mind , bunch a dizzy broads , just like the 
	wenches back home yew are" he growled. "Get out of the car
	he ordered. The two royal Ladies got out , the chaufer got out, and 
	the robber quickly made away with the car. As they were standing 
	on the dusty countru lane, th Lady Di says to the Queen.
	 
	"Pardon me your Majesty, but I thought surely that you had your 
	tiara on  when we left the castle this morning? didnt yo??

	"Well actually yes I did." the Queen replied "But I deduced
	what was happening when I saw that terrible man on the road, and 
	I slipped it under my dress and into my cunt in order to hide it!"
	After all it is my obligation to safeguard the family jewels you
	know , and where better to put it than there. " she snickered
	as only a Queen can. Bye the way you didn't really loose that ring 
	did you , you ninny. 

	"Oh no your Ladyship" said Lady Di, "I saw you hide the tiara and
	realised that I should do the same, so up me twat it went"

	"Good girl " said the queen "there may be hope for you yet.."
	after another minute of silence the queen muttered as if to 
	no-one in particular. "Pity we didn't have Margaret with us
	we could have saved the Rolls."

{ucbvax,hplabs}!hpda!on
Owen Rowley