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From: mlk@tellab3.UUCP (Mahesh Khatri)
Newsgroups: net.nlang.india
Subject: re: arranged marriages
Message-ID: <265@tellab3.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 10-Jun-85 14:41:04 EDT
Article-I.D.: tellab3.265
Posted: Mon Jun 10 14:41:04 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 11-Jun-85 05:05:22 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: Tellabs, Inc., Lisle, IL
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>Finally, the traditional and cultural aspect of the whole thing.  This
>thing has been going on for (I presume) thousands of years and it's
>probably built into many people's psyche.  If one is brought up in an
>environment where that is the norm, one isn't going to change his point
>of view just because he is `educated'.  Anyway, I don't think that
>education and arranged marriages are mutually exclusive.


I wholly agree with Pravin here. In India, in most Hindu families,
the 'love' marriages are looked down upon, most of the people there
have spent a good 20 or so years in an environment where they have
seen there brothers/sisters, friends and relatives go through 
arranged marriages and this environment has trained their thought
process to a point where they beleive that arranged marriage is 
the only way to go; A few years of education is certainly not enough
to change those views towards arranged marriages which have been
ingrained in them all the way through childhood. Another point is
that the alternative to an arranged marriage is to find one's own
mate via processes as dating and dating is frowned upon and
shunned in most Hindu families. Most of these people having never
dated as teenagers in India would find it extremely difficult to
ask a man/woman out for a date. The situation is quite different
in this country where kids start dating during their teenage years
and it is not difficult for them to ask a man/woman out for a date
then at any later time. Also kids are encouraged to find dates here;
totally different from India. Certainly then this attitude towards 
arranged marriages cannot be blamed upon  'education' or lack thereof.
Also whether these 'love' marriages are better than arranged marriages
or not is another debatable subject; there are pros and cons to both
sides; just look at the divorce rate in this country and think 
why it is so?