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From: dss00@amdahl.UUCP (dss00)
Newsgroups: net.women,net.nlang.india
Subject: Re: Arranged Marriages Questions
Message-ID: <1646@amdahl.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 10-Jun-85 18:07:26 EDT
Article-I.D.: amdahl.1646
Posted: Mon Jun 10 18:07:26 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 12-Jun-85 07:56:07 EDT
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> 
> I have a feeling that those who do this (let their parents/relatives choose
> their mates for them) somehow lack the self-confidence to make their own
> decisions.

You got it all screwed up buddy. Parents in these situations
usually do the initial screening to see various things that
affect compatibility. Unless one is a total moron (in which case
one wouldn't have gone far with education either), the final
decision is with the involved personalities.

> To put it simply, it's a cop-out. The sentiment here seems to be :
> "If I let my parents find a bride/groom for me, I won't have to go through
> the trouble of finding one myself". I'm glad that when Sunil referred to these
> 'educated' people, he put the 'educated' in quotes, because that's exactly
> how I feel about it. The essence of education is to be able to make mature
> decisions and judgements, and these people who let themselves get married to
> someone they barely know, can hardly be called educated in that sense.
> 
> ---  Debashish Niyogi

One of the signs of intellectual adulthood is realization of the fact
that there are no absolute truths. Education has nothing to do with
"CONFORMITY". As a matter of fact if education forces me to conform
*completely* with any established ideology, I think it has failed in
its main purpose. Whether you marry someone you met at school
or workplace or in the neighborhood (ala "love marriage");
or a person you selected from amongst those your parents screened
and you later met (ala "arranged marriage") is for you to decide.
Both systems have their merits and demerits. Ridiculing anyone's
intelligence or education merely because he or she chooses one way
over the other is only a sign of intellectual extremism and
ideological intolerance. These are personal choices.

Jai Jawaan, Jai Kisaan...........
-- 

Deepak S. Sabnis ...!{ihnp4,hplabs,amd,nsc}!amdahl!dss00    (408) 746-6058

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