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From: muppala@sunybcs.UUCP (Shankar Muppala)
Newsgroups: net.women,net.nlang.india
Subject: Re: Re: Arranged Marriages (another response)
Message-ID: <1792@sunybcs.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 11-Jun-85 14:59:08 EDT
Article-I.D.: sunybcs.1792
Posted: Tue Jun 11 14:59:08 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 12-Jun-85 08:04:13 EDT
References: <1801@ut-ngp.UUCP>
Organization: SUNY/Buffalo Computer Science
Lines: 50
Xref: watmath net.women:5729 net.nlang.india:421

> >
> > From: S.Ganapathy <ganpaty> Sat Jun  8 00:34:29 1985
> > To: sunil@ut-ngp.ARPA	{...!ut-sally!ut-ngp!sunil}
> > Subject: your letter to net.nlang.india & net.women about getting a wife.
> > Status: R
> >
> > Dear Sunil,
> >     This is my response to your letter regarding getting a wife. To me the    
> > the wording does not sound good. Looks like one is shopping around for a com-
> > modity such as a car or any other thing you can think of. The reason why ar-
> > ranged marriages are still in vogue is that the chances of their working or not
> > is the same as that of love marriages.Remember just by being in love may be
> > a necessary but may not be a sufficient condition for the man and woman to
> > know each other fully well. Do not forget that the arranged marriages are not 
> > forced upon the man or woman by their families as one might incline to think.
> > I agree that in arranged marriages there is insufficient opportunity for the 
> > man and woman to know and objectively assess each others compatability or 
> > otherwise.  May be in a love marriage such oppurtunities abound but once again
> > that does not guarantee the success of love marriages too.  
> > Have you heard the saying that love is blind/blinding ?  I am not trying to
> > defend arranged marriages.  The most important thing that makes a marriage is
> > the attitude of the couple.  Arguements such as: Oh! Have I made a mistake?,
> > I deserve better than this,  may be I can give it another try? There definite-
> > ly must be a better match and so on and so forth are guarantees to dig the
> > grave of matrimony.   Well Sunil these are some thoughts that your letter
> > provoked in me.  If you want you are free to put them on net.
> > Well I don't intend to bore you any more. Would be interested in your response
> > to my thinking.
> >                                                        Take care. 
> >                                                        Gany.
> >
> 
> 	This mail was posted as it also discusses the current topic.  Any
> 	replies to this article should be sent to:
> 		ganpaty@ut-ngp.ARPA	{...!ut-sally!ut-ngp!ganpaty}
> 
> 
> 							Sunil Trivedi

*Iagree with this letter and also the other letters in reply to
arranged marriages. I feel that the original letter was posted in
the most irresponsible manner as could be done. Mr. 'original' did
not think of a lot of problems before posting that letter. One of the
biggest problems is getting your sisters married in a closed Knit co-
mmunity like India. You got to think about that also. 


						Thanks
						Shankar
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