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From: vallath@ucbcad.UUCP (Vallath Nandakumar)
Newsgroups: net.nlang.india
Subject: Re: Re: Premarital Sex
Message-ID: <31@ucbcad.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 14-Jun-85 20:25:02 EDT
Article-I.D.: ucbcad.31
Posted: Fri Jun 14 20:25:02 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 15-Jun-85 10:26:32 EDT
References: <1648@amdahl.UUCP> <5434@cbscc.UUCP>
Organization: UC Berkeley CAD Group, Berkeley, CA
Lines: 28

> >...
> >Some opponents of "arranged marriage" (opponent is the key word here)
> >have questioned the "educatedness" of some of us poor blokes who are
> >dumb enough to allow our parents a say in our life after we have
> >reached puberty (read that as enlightenment).
> 
> Allowing parents to have a *say* isn't dumb.  Their experience can
> help you from making some big mistakes.  When someone talks about
> "arranged marriage", however, I think of it as parents telling you
> who you *will* marry. 
> 

As with parents everywhere, there are degrees to which 
Indian parents influence their children, and degrees to which
the children obey their parents.
Parents often make a suggestion, and the children are allowed
to say yes or no.  Other parents might be more autocratic.
I also object to the all too frequent use of "love marriage",
since in a large number of these marriages, the partners are
not as much in love with each other as is made out - it is
an attraction based as much on calculated decisions as to
suitability of the other partner as on "love".
This last statement is merely a premise of mine based on
observations - I don't wish to imply that everybody has
a cynical attitude about love and marriage.

Vallath Nandakumar
.