Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: $Revision: 1.6.2.16 $; site inmet.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!bonnie!akgua!whuxlm!harpo!decvax!genrad!mit-eddie!think!inmet!nrh
From: nrh@inmet.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.politics
Subject: Re: Congratulations to the NRA
Message-ID: <7800340@inmet.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 16-Jun-85 02:01:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: inmet.7800340
Posted: Sun Jun 16 02:01:00 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 23-Jun-85 01:47:46 EDT
References: <484@gargoyle.UUCP>
Lines: 30
Nf-ID: #R:gargoyle:-48400:inmet:7800340:000:1388
Nf-From: inmet!nrh    Jun 16 02:01:00 1985


>
>    The hail of bullets was responsible for 16,575 suicides, 13,841 murders,
> 1,756 accidental deaths, 540 undetermined deaths and 276 killing by
> law enforcement agents. (In 1982)
> 

No no no!  Except in the case of the 1,756 accidental deaths (and probably
for them, but...), These deaths were caused by one of two other causes
(certainly not bullets):

	cause #1: No armor.  Clearly, the fools have neglected to wear
	bullet-proof armor.  After all, if they had.....

	cause #2: (the real killer) Fingers.  Yes, friends, it makes as
	much sense to blame fingers as it does to blame a "hail of
	bullets" (as in: "The hail of bullets").  After all, if trigger
	fingers were just safely amputated, we wouldn't have these
	deaths, would we?  Oh sure, some stupid libertarian, or other
	mangey, hairy eyed academic-government type with too quick a mind
	might point out that people would use other fingers, but that
	can be dismissed out of hand, right?  The article above
	probably be re-published with the phrase: 
	"The press of pinkies was responsible for....."

The solution to this dastardly pair of problems is clear: everyone
should be required by the federal govt. to wear bulletproof armor, with
steel mittens (making it impossible to fire a gun, and, should a gun
somehow be fired, who cares?).  Write your enslave... er, your
legislator today!  Vote early and vote often!