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From: barryg@sdcrdcf.UUCP (Lee Gold)
Newsgroups: net.nlang.india,net.women,net.religion
Subject: Re: Premarital Sex
Message-ID: <2077@sdcrdcf.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 16-Jun-85 15:08:47 EDT
Article-I.D.: sdcrdcf.2077
Posted: Sun Jun 16 15:08:47 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 19-Jun-85 02:02:14 EDT
References: <1648@amdahl.UUCP> <296@ihlpm.UUCP>
Reply-To: barryg@sdcrdcf.UUCP (Lee Gold)
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Organization: System Development Corp. R+D, Santa Monica
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Xref: watmath net.nlang.india:438 net.women:5916 net.religion:7145
Summary: 

First off, I'm going to suggest we distinguish between premarital sex
(sex between two people who intend to get married) and nonmarital sex
(sex between two people are not married and don't currently intend to).

And that we state age and background, since it's very likely views will
differ influenced by background.  I'm 42, Jewish, born in Los Angeles
as were my parents.

My first marriage was preceded by premarital cuddling, but not sex.
And annulled because there wan't any postmarital sex either.  I went into
that marriage full of ideals about a "white wedding" and "giving one's
virginity to one's husband on one's wedding night."  I left it somewhat
disillusioned.

When I accepted a second marriage proposal (with a guy I'd been cuddling
with but not having sex with), I told him that before we announced the news
officially I wanted to have sex with him a few times and verify all
would be well.  Later on we went to our rabbi for a pre-wedding conference
and one of the first questions he asked was whether we'd agreed on if/when
we wanted children and on birth control methods to be used.

I don't object to anyone else have nonmarital sex but I'm not emotionally
suited to physical intimacy without the commitment of an intention to
marry, so it's not for me.

I look forward to reading other comments.

--Lee Gold