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From: parks@noao.UUCP (Jay Parks)
Newsgroups: net.sf-lovers
Subject: a gauntlet accepted: fixes to 1999, Galactica
Message-ID: <419@carina.noao.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 20-Jun-85 01:25:46 EDT
Article-I.D.: carina.419
Posted: Thu Jun 20 01:25:46 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 20-Jun-85 06:42:12 EDT
Organization: Natl. Optical Astronomy Observatories, Tucson, AZ USA
Lines: 91

Someone asked for constructive criticism, instead of just carping.  OK,
here's my suggestions.  It isn't that tough and I expect there are a lot
of even better fixes out there.  What I hate is a scriptwriter that
assumes the audience is a bunch of morons who won't notice the
difference (or worse -- a director that cuts up a good script).

Section 1: the spaceship moon of SPACE 1999

a: Does it have to be the moon?  Why not some asteroid that was
converted into a colonization-ship for interstellar travel.  You could
then add cryogenic sleep chambers, so that the crew goes to sleep between
possible stellar systems.  Its the same result back on earth, anyway.  At
least a couple of times Alpha contacted earth to find that hundreds of
years had passed, back home.

b: The hokey gizmo.  (Oh no!  Don't activate the Plot Device!)  An
invention we made, too dangerous to test on earth.  It was originally
intended to do _______ (fill in the blank), but instead proved to
generate massive, unpredictable space warps.  Sure, this is hokey, but
it's better than what they did.

c: Escapees from a cosmic disaster.  Assume the sun is soon to nova, and
we know when.  Stanley Schmidt did this in an ongoing series in Analog.
He provided a total conversion drive, and moved the WHOLE EARTH (the
oceans were fuel).  Next to that, moving the moon is a piece of cake.

d: Niven described several ways to move planets (in All the Myriad
Ways?).  The only question is: why would we want to move the moon at
all.  I still think you need a cosmic disaster as above.

----
    Of course, this doesn't solve the real problem (as I see it) of
Space 1999.  The problem was that it was a fantasy series in a science
fiction setting.  They were always fighting space dragons, or getting
wisdom from the centers of black holes, or ending with some sort of
metaphysical gobbledygook (especially in the first season).  If they are
going to use metaphysics, they shouldn't try and make it science
fiction.

SECTION 2:  My most despised scene in STAR WARS III

   You know the one I'm talking about: Vader Wimps Out.  They should
have never taken off his mask.  Instead, at the end, he should have been
dragged to the shuttle.  Luke is about to take off the mask, but Vader
stops him.  Vader reaches out, and says "We . . . we could have ruled
the galaxy as father and son . . ." then dies.
   (Sorry, that didn't really belong here.)


SECTION 3:  CattleCar Badactica  (Uh sorry)

   In my opinion, there were several huge holes that became more and
more apparent as the show continued (first series).  
   Humans had been described as being nearly eliminated, but we found 
them EVERYWHERE.
   The villains were not too believable.  Three robots to run a fighter,
instead of one computer?  Not logical.  Also, why do they insist on
exterminating THESE humans, when there are loads everywhere.
   They kept on going farther and farther into nowhere, but never got
any closer to anywhere.
   There were particularly hokey parts, like the fires in space, or the
confusion of galactic distances (did the darn thing travel faster than
light-speed?).  These could be fixed by changing the buzzwords, by any
competent science advisor.

   Well, this is tough.  The problems were built into the concept.
Without re-writing the origin of the show, I would make the following
changes:

a: Have them get closer to earth.  Every few shows, there should be some
real hint that tells you for sure that things are changing.  From the
start, they should have planned to arrive at earth at the end of the
second or third season.

b: The nature of the villains should have been changed.  I would suggest
making the cylons close neighbors of the galacticans.  In a final
battle, the two civilizations wiped each other out (except for TWO
rag-tag fleets).  It's a grudge match, sort of like the middle east. (Yes,
I realize that I have just thrown the current politics of that area out
the window.  No flames please, I was intending a VAST OVERSIMPLIFICATION.)
   Now, when we come across remenants of humanity everywhere, we also come
across remenants of cylon and other alien life everywhere (but none of
those cultures has progressed to interstellar travel yet).

c: Make the cylons aliens, for gosh sakes.  If they are robots, then say
that they were constructed by the GALACTICANS!  That could lead to all
sorts of interesting intrigue, the invention that went wrong.

   That's my creative criticism for the moment.  What do you think?

                                       Jay Parks