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From: ables@mcc-db.UUCP (King Ables)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Re: New topic: It's over when...
Message-ID: <211@mcc-db.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 4-Jun-85 23:32:53 EDT
Article-I.D.: mcc-db.211
Posted: Tue Jun  4 23:32:53 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 6-Jun-85 21:14:34 EDT
References: <2681@cca.UUCP> <207@mcc-db.UUCP> <582@adobe.UUCP>
Organization: MCC (Austin, TX)
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[These aren't my opinions, I found them in the street.  I keep mine
 in my kitchen in the cookie jar.]

> Are these things really clues to "when it is really over"...
> Things like "not winking anymore," "noticing a tendency to commit to fewer
> long range plans," or whatever, don't seem like earth-shattering problems
> to me.  It probably means that something is wrong, but if people just threw
> up their hands and said "I guess it's over." every time something like that
> turned up, the divorce rate would be pretty high, or something. :-|

True, the things I listed that you refer to don't HAVE to mean it's over,
however, we never really defined what *IT* is.  If  IT is a marriage
in its 10th year, then certainly these things shouldn't be taken to mean
"oh, god, that's it, bye."  If it's a relationship that's only been going
on a few months, that's another matter.  Then these things might be pointers
to some unseen (later to be seen) incompatibilities.  I NEVER intended to say
that you throw in the towel on a marriage because she doesn't wink at you
anymore!

By the way, I can't tell from your :-| if you know or not, but the divorce
rate IS pretty high.  I don't remember a percentage (anybody have a recent
figure, even though I probably don't want to hear it anyway?) but I do
recall that the last time I heard it I was shocked.  I think that's the
thing that scares me the most is ending up as a statistic in a divorce
column.  I think I'm so scared of that I'll either never get married or
it'll work because I'm so sure and I'm willing to work so hard for it.
But I guess that's what a lot of people have said, huh?  At least I
haven't got the attitude that I have seen in MANY people:  Well, let's
get married and if it doesn't work, well, that's what divorces are for,
right?  Now THAT'S a scary attitude.

        You are in space.

There are pajamas here.		(don't worry about it, you had to be there.)

-King
ARPA: ables@mcc
UUCP: {ihnp4,seismo,ctvax}!ut-sally!mcc-db!ables