Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site druny.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!ihnp4!drutx!druny!ewb From: ewb@druny.UUCP (PotterSJ) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: re: US vs ME in Relationships Message-ID: <18@druny.UUCP> Date: Fri, 7-Jun-85 12:48:11 EDT Article-I.D.: druny.18 Posted: Fri Jun 7 12:48:11 1985 Date-Received: Sat, 8-Jun-85 03:31:00 EDT Organization: AT&T Information Systems Laboratories, Denver Lines: 26 But Ed you in your article about your April 24 breakup did have something witty to say. In fact, the differences between you and your ex-SO re 'US' vs. 'ME' were very fundamental, and do reflect a fundamental diffence in your philosophical points of view. I would say a CRUCIAL difference. Your observation that this particular difference could present such a crucial impediment to the survival of your relationship was witty indeed. Your decision to terminate the relationship as a result of that difference, though undoubtedly very painful in the short run will in the long term result in WORLDS less pain. On the other side of the coin, regardless of individual philosophies about this, is the I think basic requirement in a relationship that each half understand the importance of maintaining an individual wholeness outside the wholeness that comes from a relationship. In addition, each half must allow the other the freedom to pursue this individuality. On this requirement there must of course be agreement - and in this I mean heartfelt agreement - on how much and in what way this can be done. It is, as you know so "clearly" (as you put it - I call it "painfully"), when this philosophical framework breaks down in some way - either through disagreement, or failure to practice that which is preached - that we individuals end up marking our calendars with the dates of lost relationships. Sheldon Potter