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From: chrisa@azure.UUCP (Chris Andersen)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: What people look for in MOTAS (conceit, actually)
Message-ID: <244@azure.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 9-Jun-85 02:09:39 EDT
Article-I.D.: azure.244
Posted: Sun Jun  9 02:09:39 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 11-Jun-85 05:30:46 EDT
References: <681@udenva.UUCP> <1560059@acf4.UUCP> <1264@houxm.UUCP>
Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR
Lines: 31

> >	Yes, but how many friends does the average person have?
> >Relying on old friendships to grow into romantic attachments
> >reduces the selection pool too much.  And risks destroying
> >good friendships.
> 
> I have this same problem.  I have some good female friends, but I don't want
> to start romantic attachments with them, because the breakup might destroy
> the friendship.  I value the friendships I have and I wouldn't want to see
> them go away.  Also, sometimes I might want to become romantically involved
> with might not want to be romantically involved with me, that leads to hurt
> feelings on their part, since they didn't want to hurt me, which leads to all
> sorts of guilt and confusion and .... so that's why I'm concerned about 
> starting a romantic relationship with a good friend.

	Another problem which I have observed is that when two members of 
a group friends have a relationship, and then break, it almost inevitably
destroys the group of friends along with it.  This is because the others
in the group are forced to take sides.  If the are seen hanging out with
one of the two people, it is assumed by the others that you are on that
persons side.  Word of this comes back to the other person involved, and
when you then try to talk to him/her that person is naturally suspicious 
of your actions.

	In High School I saw this process of fission occur several times.
The result being that out of 20+ people I knew in school, only 3 are still
friends.

	Life's a bummer.

	Chris Andersen