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From: purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Friendship before/after SOship
Message-ID: <1647@reed.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 10-Jun-85 03:01:24 EDT
Article-I.D.: reed.1647
Posted: Mon Jun 10 03:01:24 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 12-Jun-85 06:43:14 EDT
References: <681@udenva.UUCP> <1560059@acf4.UUCP> <1264@houxm.UUCP> <244@azure.UUCP> <1323@hammer.UUCP>
Reply-To: purtell@reed.UUCP (Lady Godiva)
Organization: Reed College, Portland, Oregon
Lines: 39
Summary: 

In article <1323@hammer.UUCP> seifert@hammer.UUCP (Snoopy) writes:
>
>Why is everyone so afraid of hurting friendships with romance?
>What percentage of breakups are unfriendly?  I can't imagine
>not remaining friends with an SO after a breakup.  If you like
>a person as a friend, then add loving them as an SO, why should
>the liking-them-as-a-friend go away if they don't work out as an SO?
>
>A lot of people on the net seem to feel this way, so can someone
>explain it?
>
>Snoopy

   I think that part of the problem is that a lot of things happen in a
relationship that can make things a little tense after a breakup. I had
one friendship that developed into a relationship which broke up after
about a year. I was deceived by the person while we were going out, and
I now find it impossible to trust him anymore. He was/is angry at me for
breaking up with him and ever since has done little but try to hurt me
through various ways ever since. He treats all his (other) friends
wonderfully for the most part, but is really hurtful to me. I have tried
to be as nice as possible (really I have) but I must admit that towards
the end of the school year I was really fed up. Hopefully over the
summer things will even out, but I'm not holding my breath. I've gotten
to the point where I'm really pretty bitter over all of it, something
which of course does not help the situation at all. Basically as it now
stands I'm willing to forgive him if he stops treating me the way he did
all last semester, but if things continue in the same way when he
returns than I may just end the friendship. On the brighter side of
things this is the only relationship where I've had this happen. All of
the others have ended with both of us still very good friends. I'm not
against going out with a friend again, but I think that I might be more
careful next time which friend I pick...

     elizabeth

    (Lady Godiva)