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From: noemi@rochester.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Friendship before/after SOship
Message-ID: <10136@rochester.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 11-Jun-85 12:12:21 EDT
Article-I.D.: rocheste.10136
Posted: Tue Jun 11 12:12:21 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 13-Jun-85 23:58:20 EDT
References: <681@udenva.UUCP> <1560059@acf4.UUCP> <1264@houxm.UUCP> <244@azure.UUCP> <1323@hammer.UUCP>
Reply-To: noemi@rochester.UUCP (Noemi Berry(for Lab Manager))
Organization: U. of Rochester, CS Dept.
Lines: 28

>Why is everyone so afraid of hurting friendships with romance?
>What percentage of breakups are unfriendly?  I can't imagine
>not remaining friends with an SO after a breakup.  If you like
>a person as a friend, then add loving them as an SO, why should
>the liking-them-as-a-friend go away if they don't work out as an SO?
>
>A lot of people on the net seem to feel this way, so can someone
>explain it?

	There are many reasons it might be difficult to be friends with 
an XSO.  One might be the nature of the breakup.  Or the causes that led
to deterioration of the romantic relationship also had an adverse effect
on the friendship.  Some people get over someone by intentionally hating
them so that loving them won't hurt so much when the relationship is doomed.  
Relationships are different couple to couple, hence breakups are different 
couple to couple.

	Many friendships CAN recover a bitter breakup, but then, many can't.
Some can't even recover a smooth breakup (IS there such a thing?).  It all
depends on the individuals and the combination of the individuals and the
circumstances surrounding the breakup.  Relationships are not simple enough
things that one can say for all of them that a friendship "should" remain.


		-friends with some; indifferent to others

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