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From: woods@hao.UUCP (Greg Woods)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: What people look for in MOTAS (conceit, actually)
Message-ID: <1592@hao.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 10-Jun-85 15:10:42 EDT
Article-I.D.: hao.1592
Posted: Mon Jun 10 15:10:42 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 15-Jun-85 06:01:10 EDT
References: <681@udenva.UUCP> <1560059@acf4.UUCP> <1264@houxm.UUCP> <244@azure.UUCP>
Organization: High Altitude Obs./NCAR, Boulder CO
Lines: 29

Chris Andersen writes:
> 	Another problem which I have observed is that when two members of 
> a group friends have a relationship, and then break, it almost inevitably
> destroys the group of friends along with it.  This is because the others
> in the group are forced to take sides.  If the are seen hanging out with
> one of the two people, it is assumed by the others that you are on that
> persons side. 
> when you then try to talk to him/her that person is naturally suspicious 
> of your actions.

  Are you talking about a relationship or a war here? Why does one have to
"take sides"? I have never noticed this happening during any of *my*
breakups. The one thing that I *have* noticed is that people that I met
*through her* tend to drop out of my social circle after a breakup, but
I don't think this is quite what you were describing.  In this case it's more
because she was about all that I had in common with these people in the first
place. I *have* seen this "taking sides" occur, I only write this to point
out that it does not *have* to be that way. I find it very easy to be friends
with both parties after a breakup. You just have to be willing to listen
to the concerns of whichever person you happen to be talking to at the moment,
and avoid going into judgment of either the person you are talking with or
their XSO.

--Greg
-- 
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