Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site mtx5b.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!vax135!ariel!mtx5b!mat
From: mat@mtx5b.UUCP (Mark Terribile)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.social
Subject: Re: Intelligence (mild flame)
Message-ID: <1435@mtx5b.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 14-Jun-85 01:28:56 EDT
Article-I.D.: mtx5b.1435
Posted: Fri Jun 14 01:28:56 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 15-Jun-85 06:14:29 EDT
References: <1466@watdcsu.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Information Systems Laboratories, Holmdel, NJ
Lines: 46
Xref: watmath net.singles:7301 net.social:659

>>I think that's an excuse.  Some people with high IQ scores do tend to have
>>problems finding SO's, but I think that's more because they lack social
>>skills than because of a dearth of suitable partners.
>
>have you ever asked yourself why those people lack the social skills?
>growing up being not part of the group makes it very hard to interact
>with people when you're not allowed to belong.
>
>from sad experience...
>Herb Chong...

	I'm coming to realize that this is true for me.  I've always taken
great joy in understanding things.  When I sat up one night at the begining
of 12th grade and read ahead in the calculus text, and discovered how limits
turn into derivatives, I was ecstatic.  Suddenly my whole understanding of the
world had room to expand -- to explode.  There's no way I could ever share that
with people.  I'd be rejected out of hand -- and I have been.

	Fact is, I have so much anger and hurt stored up over this that sharing
simple things with the people around me is very painful.  When my officemate
(a wonderful lady, and a dear friend) is excited about her new outfit, or about
where whe will be going on vacation or ..., I just cannot share the joy she
feels.  It just hurts too damn much.

	I lost 90 lbs a few years ago (since gaining it back)  All my friends
and relatives were delighted.  When I look back, I can't understand how I
didn't realize that I was seething with anger -- anger about how they could
want me to be joyful with them on my behalf about the mere removal of a
negative factor (see the two-factor theory, often discussed along with Theory X
and Theory Y, or send me mail) after they rejected the things that were really
important to me.

	Recently, a friend told me that he had the same experience, only with
appreciating things of nature -- being deeply moved by them -- rather than
with the technical insight that is dear to me.

	What we have is a chasm, seperating the emotional worlds of some
of us highly focused individuals from the emotional worlds of most others.
I want to bridge that chasm, and I expect it will be long and painful, but
I see no other way.  My best wishes, and my sympathy, to anyone on a similar
voyage.
-- 

	from Mole End			Mark Terribile
		(scrape .. dig )	mtx5b!mat
    ,..      .,,       ,,,   ..,***_*.