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From: buchbind@agrigene.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Friendship before/after SOship
Message-ID: <131@agrigene.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 11-Jun-85 21:37:29 EDT
Article-I.D.: agrigene.131
Posted: Tue Jun 11 21:37:29 1985
Date-Received: Sun, 16-Jun-85 08:47:43 EDT
References: <681@udenva.UUCP> <1560059@acf4.UUCP> <1264@houxm.UUCP> <244@azure.UUCP> <1323@hammer.UUCP>
Organization: Agrigenetics Madison,Wi.
Lines: 21

> Why is everyone so afraid of hurting friendships with romance?
> What percentage of breakups are unfriendly?  I can't imagine
> not remaining friends with an SO after a breakup.  If you like
> a person as a friend, then add loving them as an SO, why should
> the liking-them-as-a-friend go away if they don't work out as an SO?

   Lots of break-ups are unfriendly;  some are friendly.  For myself it depends
on the particulars of myself and the SO, and the particulars of the break-up.
(e.g. the presence of 3rd parties, and especially sex therewith.)  In any case,
break-up often lead to feelings of hurt, rejection, "lets get back together"
(very messy), jealosy, "please let me string myself along" (also messy), etc.,
which are not condusive to an immediate transition to "Let's spend a lot of time
together platonically".  Sometimes its best to just leave it alone.
-- 

	Barry Buchbinder
	Agrigenetics Corp.
	5649 E. Buckeye Rd.
	Madison, WI  53716  USA
	(608)221-5000
	{seismo,ihnp4,harpo}!uwvax!astroatc!nicmad!agrigene!buchbind