Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 (Denver Mods 7/26/84) 6/24/83; site drutx.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxt!houxm!mtuxo!drutx!slb
From: slb@drutx.UUCP (Sue Brezden)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Rape or murder?
Message-ID: <2942@drutx.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 5-Jun-85 12:30:36 EDT
Article-I.D.: drutx.2942
Posted: Wed Jun  5 12:30:36 1985
Date-Received: Thu, 6-Jun-85 21:32:15 EDT
Organization: AT&T Information Systems Laboratories, Denver
Lines: 45

The question "Would you rather be raped or killed?" is being
discussed, and I would like to share some of my experiences.
Ordinarily, it is not a subject I talk about.  Especially in
a public forum.  But perhaps I have something to add.

I have been raped.  I have also come very close to being killed
(by stangulation--a wire coat hanger).  At separate times.  By 
the same man--my ex-husband.

I am still alive.  And I am glad that I was not murdered.  I
have had time to regain my self-respect.  To learn to enjoy
myself, to see my children grow and to find a good man who
loves me for me and not for what I can do for him.  If I was
killed back then, I would not have had these experiences.

Now perhaps rape is easier to take if it is done by a man close 
to you rather than a stranger.  But I tend to think not.  I lived 
with that man for 5 more years after those incidents took place.  
He never understood why I would flinch when he touched me, or why 
I was always so unsure of myself.  He still does not understand, I 
am sure, although I would never talk to him about it.  I am sure 
he feels in his own mind that he is innocent.  Somehow that made
it harder to recover--since the closest person to me reinforced
the feeling that I was wrong to feel the way I did.  I only started
to recover after I left him.

At any rate, I do know now that recovery is always possible--if one
lives.  It is not possible if one dies.  If faced with rape, torture,
or murder, I pick anything but murder.


-- 

                                     Sue Brezden
                                     
Real World: Room 1B17                Net World: ihnp4!drutx!slb
            AT&T Information Systems
            11900 North Pecos
            Westminster, Co. 80234
            (303)538-3829 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Send lawyers, guns, and money, Dad.  Please get me out of this!
                                           -Warren Zevon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~