Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/5/84; site sunybcs.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!allegra!princeton!rocksvax!sunybcs!niyogi
From: niyogi@sunybcs.UUCP (Debashish Niyogi)
Newsgroups: net.women,net.nlang.india
Subject: Re: Arranged Marriages Questions
Message-ID: <1781@sunybcs.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 7-Jun-85 18:52:55 EDT
Article-I.D.: sunybcs.1781
Posted: Fri Jun  7 18:52:55 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 8-Jun-85 05:41:58 EDT
References: <1795@ut-ngp.UUCP>
Organization: SUNY/Buffalo Computer Science
Lines: 36
Xref: watmath net.women:5617 net.nlang.india:409

> 	Has anyone ever wondered why "arranged" marriages
> 	are so popular with the 'educated' when 'love'
> 	marriages are on the rise?
> 
I too am surprised at the fact that after having lived independently for
several years in this country, a few people still don't want to take the
responsibility of choosing their own mates. They have presumably made many
important decisions independently in the past few years (the decision to
come to a place 10000 miles away from 'home' cannot be an insignificant one),
So why leave one of the most important life decisions to others ?

I have a feeling that those who do this (let their parents/relatives choose
their mates for them) somehow lack the self-confidence to make their own
decisions. To put it simply, it's a cop-out. The sentiment here seems to be :
"If I let my parents find a bride/groom for me, I won't have to go through
the trouble of finding one myself". I'm glad that when Sunil referred to these
'educated' people, he put the 'educated' in quotes, because that's exactly
how I feel about it. The essence of education is to be able to make mature
decisions and judgements, and these people who let themselves get married to
someone they barely know, can hardly be called educated in that sense.

Most of my friends in the U.S. (the married ones, that is) did not have
"arranged" marriages. That makes me feel good; I know I have friends who are
truly educated. And you can bet your diamond wedding ring that when I marry,
it won't be an "arranged" marriage.

-- 

---  Debashish Niyogi

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
UUCP  : {burdvax,rocksvax,bbncca,decvax,dual,rocksanne,watmath}!sunybcs!niyogi
CSNET : niyogi@buffalo              ##  Computer Science Dept.,SUNY at Buffalo,
ARPA  : niyogi%buffalo@csnet-relay  ##  226 Bell Hall, Amherst, NY 14260.
BITNET: niyogi@sunybcs              ##  (716)-636-3197
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------