Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site sphinx.UChicago.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!harvard!talcott!panda!genrad!decvax!bellcore!sabre!zeta!epsilon!gamma!ulysses!mhuxr!mhuxj!mhuxt!houxm!mtuxo!drutx!ihnp4!gargoyle!sphinx!beth
From: beth@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP (Beth Christy)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Rape vs. murder
Message-ID: <626@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 6-Jun-85 14:18:35 EDT
Article-I.D.: sphinx.626
Posted: Thu Jun  6 14:18:35 1985
Date-Received: Wed, 12-Jun-85 01:15:04 EDT
References: <560@sphinx.UChicago.UUCP>, <5369@tekecs.UUCP>
Organization: U. Chicago - Computation Center
Lines: 52

From: jeffw@tekecs.UUCP (Jeff Winslow), Message-ID: <5369@tekecs.UUCP>:
>I assume from your long reply detailing the horrors of rape that you
>disagree with geoff's assertion that murder is worse than rape.
>
>I have a simple question, the answer to which may spread a little
>understanding (then again, it may not).
>
>Would you really just as soon be killed as raped? I would appreciate a
>thoughtful and serious answer.
>
>As you point out, being a man, I deal with the subject in the abstract.
>But sometimes distance gives you better perspective. And then again,
>sometimes not.
>
>					Jeff Winslow

As you can tell from the article to which you're responding, I think
rape is a pretty devastating thing.  It's true that there are women who
eventually recover from it (by now you've read a couple of articles from
such women), and I would NEVER, EVER say that it would be better for
them to have been killed.  But recovering from a rape to the point where
one can again lead a normal life, and have normal, healthy, *necessary*
relationships with the men around you, *requires* a strength so far
beyond any I've ever seen under any other circumstances that it's almost
beyond my comprehension.  And finding that strength that you need just
to be able to move again is such an *agonizing* process, and it almost
always takes *years*, and I've been hurt so deeply just watching people
I've cared about go thru it, that I'm just not at all sure that I could
go thru it myself.  Having never been either raped or murdered, I can't
say for sure which I'd really prefer.  But if I was ever threatened with
rape, I think that I'd fight like I'm willing to risk being killed.  I
think that's what I meant when I said I'd rather be murdered than raped.

And I said it in response to someone who said that "murder is worse than
rape" so blithely that I wanted to be sure that he understood what it was
he was talking about, and that that ranking is not necessarily obvious to
people who've had to deal with the reality of rape.  We may ultimately
agree with his ranking, but it requires more thought than he seemed to be
giving it.  I think the distance in this case *prevents* a realistic per-
spective.  I'd really like for men in general to really understand what it
means to be raped, and to give the women who've just survived it, let
alone recovered from it, credit for having strength beyond any they could
possibly imagine.  And, of course, to help us fight like hell to end it
forever.

I think that's as thoughtful a response as I can give you.  I hope it
suffices.

-- 

--JB                                          Life is just a bowl.