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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!ut-sally!ut-ngp!sunil
From: sunil@ut-ngp.UTEXAS (Sunil Trivedi)
Newsgroups: net.women,net.nlang.india
Subject: Re^2: Arranged Marriages (forgetten aspect)
Message-ID: <1836@ut-ngp.UTEXAS>
Date: Sun, 16-Jun-85 06:05:20 EDT
Article-I.D.: ut-ngp.1836
Posted: Sun Jun 16 06:05:20 1985
Date-Received: Tue, 18-Jun-85 04:10:39 EDT
References: <1801@ut-ngp.UUCP> <1792@sunybcs.UUCP> <1645@amdahl.UUCP>
Organization: The University of Texas, Austin, TX 78712
Lines: 41
Xref: linus net.women:5486 net.nlang.india:466


 From: muppala@sunybcs.UUCP (Shankar Muppala)
> *Iagree with this letter and also the other letters in reply to
> arranged marriages.             ...                 One of the
> biggest problems is getting your sisters married in a closed Knit co-
> mmunity like India. You got to think about that also. 

	In all the responses for this discussion, I have yet
	to read anything about the differences in how the Arranged
	Marriage System treats the male and the female participants.
	The system seems to be heavily weighted in favor of the
	males (sons) as are most things.  A son brings a wife into
	the family while the daughter 'leaves' to join her husband's
	family.  The girl's family may for a long time try to
	'unload' her to just about anyone.  The tradition of
	subservience would more likely lead the girls to accept the
	'match' over the son who may feel that he could get better.
	Once all the girls are married, the family takes a sigh of
	relief as one of the 'burdens' are lifted.  If a son isn't
	married the concern is minimal after all the son can get
	married at any age [due to fertility] and there will always
	be girls whose parents are desperately trying to get their
	daughters married off.  Consider the case of the women who
	are 'over-qualified' for marriage.  Have you heard of a man
	being 'over-qualified' for marriage?

 From: dss00@amdahl.UUCP
>  From sunil@ut-ngp.UUCP
> > 	Has anyone ever wondered why "arranged" marriages
> > 	are so popular with the 'educated'  ... ?
> Stop wondering. Try it. You just may like it; I should know.......

	I went to India to try it and after finding that the cards
	were heavily stacked in favor of me, I decided I would not
	support such a system.  At this moment I'm soon to be
	'hitched' to an American so it looks as though I'll never
	get to try it!  {Sure that's what they all say!}

					      Sunil Trivedi
					    sunil@ut-ngp.ARPA
					...!ut-sally!ut-ngp!sunil