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From: chris@cornell.UUCP (Christopher F. Harrison)
Newsgroups: net.bizarre
Subject: Re: Those little colored stickers on mail
Message-ID: <3481@cornell.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 29-Jul-85 09:41:47 EDT
Article-I.D.: cornell.3481
Posted: Mon Jul 29 09:41:47 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 3-Aug-85 01:17:48 EDT
References: <151@brl-tgr.ARPA> <2466@ut-sally.UUCP>
Reply-To: chris@gvax.UUCP (Christopher F. Harrison)
Distribution: net
Organization: Cornell Univ. CS Dept.
Lines: 25
Summary: 

In article <2466@ut-sally.UUCP> crandell@ut-sally.UUCP (Jim Crandell) writes:
>> Those little stickers of various colors, shapes, and imprints that the
>> USPS plasters on your junk mail and magazines always seemed pretty
>> bizarre to me.
>
>Those are actually micro-miniature UHF radio transmitters, and they're
>used as bugging devices.  They are planted there by the CIA.  

    Oh yeah? I heard from an insider (A major distributer for Spamway)
that they're really scratch-and-sniff cyanide stickers distributed by
an elite group of guerrilla businessmen. These propagators of lethal sales
tactics intend to wipe out all non-customers by using the consumers' own
ineptness against itself. If you find a sticker on your junk mail, please
open the envelope BEFORE utilizing the scratch-and-sniff sticker, failing
to do so will activate the cyanide, which causes quick dimensional transi-
tion(i.e.- death). The psychology behind the plan is to eliminate all
non-customers who would normally throw out their junk mail without at least
opening it first. On an aside, the latest edition of "Killer Sales" quarter-
ly announced that legislation was being presented that would make it a federal
offense to throw away junk mail without opening it first, with subsequent
penalties of up to 6 months of attendance to Erbalife meetings as a rehabil-
itation measure.
                        
                 IS junk mail better than no mail?,
                       Christopher Harrison