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From: larry@kitty.UUCP (Larry Lippman)
Newsgroups: net.bizarre
Subject: World Flatus Crisis!
Message-ID: <213@kitty.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 1-Aug-85 23:52:24 EDT
Article-I.D.: kitty.213
Posted: Thu Aug  1 23:52:24 1985
Date-Received: Sat, 3-Aug-85 08:36:23 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: Recognition Research Corp., Clarence, NY
Lines: 33


	I have just made a startling discovery! After giving some consideration
to the flatus research topics suggested in "The Merck Manual" [see recent
posting net.bizarre], I performed some simple calculations:

	Assuming that the average person expels 100 cc @ STP of flatus per day
(which seems to be a reasonable overall average), and assuming a total world
population of 4.5 billion, the daily world flatus output is 450,000,000 liters.
Assuming a specific volume for flatus of 850 cc/gm (based upon a compromise
proportion of its constituents: H2S, CO2, CH3, H2, and NH3, in addition to
aerosolized skatole, indole, tyramine, histamine, cadaverine and putrescine),
this would result in a daily world flatus output of 529 metric tons or
1,167,352 pounds.  This is an incredible amount!

	No wonder there is air pollution and the world stinks!  I have also
just developed a theory that all of this flatus must go somewhere, and there
must exist a hitherto undiscovered layer of the atmosphere which I shall call
the Flatosphere.  I am immediately sending a letter to the National Science
Foundation to alert them of this situation, and to obtain a research grant to
pursue this vital topic.

	{Is this bizarre, or is this *bizzare* ???}

	Larry Lippman
	Recognition Research Corp.
	Clarence, New York
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