Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site crystal.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!seismo!uwvax!crystal!slana
From: slana@crystal.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.bizarre
Subject: Re: Save the Guars
Message-ID: <495@crystal.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 3-Aug-85 21:34:22 EDT
Article-I.D.: crystal.495
Posted: Sat Aug  3 21:34:22 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 5-Aug-85 00:32:27 EDT
References: <533@grkermi.UUCP>
Distribution: net
Organization: U of Wisconsin CS Dept
Lines: 47

> You can save the guars, or you can hit "n".
> ...
> In the time it takes you to read this, 200-500 innocent guars will be brutally
> slaughtered by heartless guar hunters.  Their gums will be removed (in an
> ...
> Won't you help?
> ...
> A. William Rogers
> Chairman, National Guar Foundation

*** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH A GUAR CORPSE ***


Why are you wasting your time with worthless invertibrates such as guars
(whose worth approximates that of a blonde California banana slug)?

The North American Nauga (latin: syntheticus leatherus), which once roamed
the plains in herds of millions, is now threatened with extinction.  One
of nature's most majestic beasts, the nauga has been ruthlessly hunted and
slaughtered for its precious hide.  As recently as 1957, there were an
estimated 3.5 million naugas roaming the prairies from Dubuque to Denver
(note:  there was a subspecies, syntheticus rubberus, which inhabited the
outskirts of Akron, but they mysteriously vanished in 1965).  Today, there
are under 5,000 naugas remaining in North America.

The stately nauga stands over 6 feet tall at the shoulders and can weigh over
2500 pounds.  Once immortalized by Rod McKuen in his poem "The Buicks of the
Prairie", the nauga is a vegetarian known for its docile nature, communal
instincts, ability to resist stains, and ease of cleaning.  While beautiful
creatures, naugas are not very intelligent.  Owing to their meek personalities,
the entire defense mechanism of naugas consists of locating a tree and hiding
behind it.  This makes them easy prey for the naugahide hunters, due to their
immense size and the considerable shortage of trees on the open prairie.

Please forgive my long posting.  I believe that the only hope for these
beautiful creatures lies in educating the public.

I am also sorry to announce that there will be no more "I BRAKE FOR NAUGAS"
or "PLANT A TREE, SAVE A NAUGA" bumber stickers so please, no mail.


- Chuck Slana
std. disclaimor:  I accept full responsibility for any of my behavior which
		might be considered as slightly off center........

******
    question-o-the-day: What happens if you serve pasta and antipasto together?