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Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/18/84; site watnot.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!watnot!cagordon
From: cagordon@watnot.UUCP (Chris A. Gordon)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: just a joke (one that didn't happen) (offensive to `Peewee')
Message-ID: <11327@watnot.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 4-Aug-85 14:00:32 EDT
Article-I.D.: watnot.11327
Posted: Sun Aug  4 14:00:32 1985
Date-Received: Mon, 5-Aug-85 07:31:24 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 45

Here's a joke I heard a couple of days ago on BIZARRE (I try not to watch the
show much though). I got to thinking that, since it was off a bizarre show, I
might post it to net.bizarre, but NO! net.bizarre is reserved for strange
reccurences of odd opports (something like that). So I guess I'll just have to
put it here.

Here it is:

----------------------tear here along perforation-----------------------------

	This man was walking through the park one day when he couldn't help but
notice a woman crying. "What's wrong?", he asked. "Shultz is dead! Shultz is dead!", she sobbed. He didn't know who Shultz was so he just continued on. Then he
came upon another woman. "Shultz is dead!", she too sobbed. He just passed by.
Then another. And another. And another! Then he came upon a site which made him
stop. What he saw was hundreds of women crowded around a street car, which had
apparently been involved in an accident, who were all crying "Shultz is dead!
Shultz is dead!". He went up to it and there he saw the street car had ran into
a man and literally torn him to pieces. All that was left of him that you could
see was his arms, legs and his *thing* (you can't say things like that on tv).
Well he was just startled by all this so he decided to go home. When he got
home, he said to his wife: "Hey Honey, you know I just saw the darndest thing.
Out on Mill Street a street car had ran into a man and cut off his *thing* and
I swear it had to be a foot and a half long!".

   punch line coming up...
"Oh no! Shultz is dead! Shultz is dead!", she sobbed.

---tear here too if you so desire but you don't have to if you don't want to---

Incidentally, for those of you who really want to know, this was told by and old
lady who was a last minute guest on the show.
--
-- 

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	       ... from the many keyboards of Chris Gordon

    In real life:
UUCP  : {decvax|utzoo|ihnp4|allegra|clyde}!watmath!watnot!cagordon
CSNET : cagordon%watnot@waterloo.csnet
ARPA  : cagordon%watnot%waterloo.csnet@csnet-relay.arpa

  "I have this theory that for every man there is a woman; for every woman
    there is a man.    So??? Where is she???"
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